Mike LaRock

stand up comic | king of the 10-like tweet

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

just got to greenland. actually mostly ice.

appears the president has fallen for one of the classic blunders!

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

did you know that mormon missionaries are not permitted to swim? true fact

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

oh, verizon wireless, you tease me with your silken tongue. how can I protest such sterling logical prowess?

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

pluto tv brings you the convenience of cable without the hassle of good quality programming

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

my next appointment is a bringer smh

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

if you show your therapist clips of your act it’s kind of like doing a gig for -$250

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

biblical times must have been sick I wish ‘wise man’ was still a viable career

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

if you want a truly immersive film experience, try watching Dune on a flight with no drink service.

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

@ricincabbage haha was trying to work on the wording of this one

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

@WhitmerThomas @tillamundo blessed TL

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

reconnecting with a friend who moved to Nashville:

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

@pappalardofunny I am so proud of this joke’s journey

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

this is no way to speak of the late Gilbert Gottfried

[t @tiannelisex]

spent his last days calling single mothers “leftovers” not knowing he had no time left over

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

@TheStratstar If it were any other team I’d say I felt bad for the fan, but as a proud Boston sports fan I know that guy’s first thought after breaking the glass was “wicked.”

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

@TheStratstar Hope the guy’s alright. I’m listening on WBZ and it wasn’t clear what happened right away.

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

there’s a fine line between Thoreau and the Unabomber

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

when you’re ten years old in 1900 and your family sends you off to work in the mines:

[Mike LaRock @openmike]

self-defense instructor would be a great job for somebody whose kink is getting beaten up by frightened women.