Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦

Dad to Scarlett & Norah. Husband to Nancy. Comedian (yes really). Host @cbcdebaters, @debaterslive. Head writer @thepattersonian. Likes hats.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Did this as a tribute to Gord Downie. It also serves as tribute to our other great Gords we’ve lost recently. Thanks @ComedyRecords for putting this lyric video together. #HappyCanadaDay

[Comedy Records @ComedyRecords]

🇨🇦HAPPY CANADA DAY!🇨🇦 Enjoy a brand new track from Steve Patterson's forthcoming album!

Oh Canada, we love you Gordie!
Album details coming soon!
https://t.co/NJSJrh70ah

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Jesus! That’s a lotta nata!

[CP24 @CP24]

Portugal vs. Croatia tickets in Toronto are selling for as high as $30,000. Here’s why https://t.co/ErzF2jMaXQ

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

I urge his boss to pull out of his position as Premier since his approval rating is down to basically him and whoever he’s promised a ride in the jet he wasn’t supposed to buy and never really sold.

[6ixBuzzTV @6ixbuzztv]

Ontario Education Minister Paul Calandra is urging parents not to pull their kids out of school for sports tournaments as new attendance rules take effect next school year.

Students with more than two unexcused absences could lose marks tied to attendance and participation.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Eustaquioooooooolaaayolayolayolaaay!

[Sportsnet @Sportsnet]

O CANADA 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

WITH A HISTORIC WIN OVER SOUTH AFRICA, THE #CANMNT PUNCHES THEIR TICKET TO THE ROUND OF 16 🤯

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Goooooooooooooooal Canada Goooooooooal! (I’d like Canada to score two goals please. And South Africa to score less than that. #WorldCup #politeCanadiancheer #itsquitehotinTorontotodaybutthatshouldnotaffectthembecausethegameisinLA

[CTV News @CTVNews]

Canada to battle South Africa in FIFA World Cup knockout game https://t.co/9incvt2MRd

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

I’ve asked my producers from our old “I Wrecked My House” show to put in a bid for this. I’ll let you know what we come up with.

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Tyler Durden seen talking to himself at the USA-Türkiye World Cup game

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

This is a great ad for Democrats…

[Maine @TheMaineWonk]

“If we lose the midterms, these Democrats will turn every committee of Congress into an investigative body, and they'll go after the president's family, the cabinet, his donors, friends, half of you in this room will be targeted…”

You’re god damn right.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Let me guess. Another Spa/airport?

[blogTO @blogTO]

Toronto's BMO Field to change yet again after FIFA World Cup
https://t.co/OzWv5mcZ7g

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Kicking myself for not renting our dining room table in Toronto to visiting fans for World Cup. Sleeps at least 5 apparently.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

‘Twas the first day of summer holiday
And all thru the house
the children were awake earlier than their schoolday wake up time
this is bullshit.
I’m out.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Honestly, it would be kind of perfect if “Reflecting Pool” somehow became President Voldemort’s Watergate…

[CBS Mornings @CBSMornings]

U.S. Park Police released a video which they say shows someone last Friday kneeling by and reaching into the Reflecting Pool. Police want the public’s help identifying the person.

At least six people have been arrested in connection with alleged vandalism of the landmark. President Trump said they could face up to a decade in prison.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Shit. Maybe I WILL watch the 2nd half…

[Daily Mail @DailyMail]

Psychic claims aliens will invade the field and abduct players during Scotland vs Brazil World Cup game https://t.co/TxcNBgqJIl

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Well shit.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Good luck Switzerland! I hope you come in 2nd today.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

I just yelled “shoot the puck” at the tv. I’m new to watching World Cup.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

I know the crowd at the game doesn’t like the “hydration break”. But as a guy watching from home who gets a chance to get up and get a reasonably priced beer from the fridge, I’m a fan. #WorldCup #hydration #reasonablypriced #fridge

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

Good luck Switzerland! I hope you come in 2nd today.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

I love the enthusiasm here fellow Canucks! Just wish our chant was a little more Canadian. Though I realize it would be tough to memorize all the lyrics to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald".

[Ben Steiner @BenSteiner00]

🇨🇦HERE COMES CANADA!

10:00am on a Wednesday and the March to the Match is in full force ahead of #CanMNT vs Switzerland.

Plenty of #8 signs for Ismaël Koné.

[Ben Steiner @BenSteiner00]

🇨🇦HERE COMES CANADA!

10:00am on a Wednesday and the March to the Match is in full force ahead of #CanMNT vs Switzerland.

Plenty of #8 signs for Ismaël Koné.

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

No shit.

[CP24 @CP24]

#NEW: Drivers speeding well above posted limit has surged nearly 400 per cent since removal of automated cameras. Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow speaks out
https://t.co/7IP9J8QYDs

[Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 @patterballs]

@Super70sSports Given those eyebrows, this man had THREE killer moustaches at once. Rare indeed.