Pierce St. Investments

Providing world-class insights on various investment classes and financial news.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

@jimcramer any thoughts on this analysis? Would appreciate other viewpoints.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Despite short-term success for $PTON, our analysts are weary in the long-term. A key finding of our extensive regression analyses was that people with “dump-truck asses” will find Peloton bikes uncomfortable and will opt for alternatives that more easily accommodate “thiccness.”

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Good news for $ZM: w/ colleges using online learning for Fall Semester, fraternities will be key growth opportunities. An un-named Pledge Master says he “can’t wait till Spring to haze those b*tches” and is “open to investing in video conference services for his chapter.”

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Despite short-term success for $PTON, our analysts are weary in the long-term. A key finding of our extensive regression analyses was that people with “dump-truck asses” will find Peloton bikes uncomfortable and will opt for alternatives that more easily accommodate “thiccness.”

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

PSA to our #Bearish investors: 2020 is a magnificent time to purchase put options on the #CatholicChurch. It is clear #God hates us and will be paying quarterly dividends of wrath.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

We see tons of upside in purchasing call options for #PornHub right now. Investor sentiment very positive with free premium packages. Potential volatility due to server crashes caused by high usage.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Who’s up?

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Datums

[Agentforce Marketing @MarketingCloud]

Do you pronounce it data or data? 🤔

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Hey New Jersey, we love @dunkindonuts and The Sopranos. If you’re looking for a world class wealth management firm to handle your pension fund, let us know!

[New Jersey @NJGov]

wawa

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Coronavirus? What’s next...Budweiser Syndrome?

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Congratulations Mr. Bezos! Let us know if you’re interested in the services of a world class asset management team to turn that $12 million into $69 million ;)

[CNBC @CNBC]

Jeff Bezos' net worth jumps by over $12 billion after Amazon's big quarter https://t.co/tNrGgEl439

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Mixed emotions upon hearing the news that #PhillipRivers and the @Chargers have decided to part ways. Phillip Rivers has 9 kids. After countless cups of coffee and many sleepless nights nights crunching numbers, our analysts have determined that 9 kids is kind of a lot of kids.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

@davhay @granthilton38 Microsoft is indeed a grower! Shareholders can thank the late, great Bill Gates for his vision and industrious approach to business. #RIPBillGates

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Congrats to Microsoft (#MSFT) on a successful earnings report. The ladies used to call me “Microsoft” but I never knew why...oh wait.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Chadley Essex Worthington Rockefeller III will not be pleased with these recommended changes. Do you even know who his father is??

[MarketWatch @MarketWatch]

Average tax rate on income from work and savings: 15.8%
Average tax rate on inheritances: 2.1%

That should change, according to this NYU law professor. https://t.co/GNbhRj3As8

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Me: *Venmos my friend for one of his Mike’s Hard Lemonades*

TSA Agent 1: Any illegal activity by this guy? Should we drone strike him?

TSA Agent 2: Nope, he’s just some b*tch who wants to drink but is also watching his figure.

[CNBC @CNBC]

Venmo gets a list of keywords from regulators that it scans transactions for, looking for illegal activity. But can it tell when emojis indicate something fishy? 🐠 https://t.co/3mEDRVi0L1

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

Someone please teach Mark about opportunity cost. Who knows what his returns could have been had he put that Vegas capital in any major index fund at the time?

[CNBC @CNBC]

Mark Cuban partied in Vegas and bought a mansion when he first became a billionaire. (via @CNBCMakeIt) https://t.co/BBnR9KFbSD

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

You’re caressing your wife in bed...

She turns over and whispers: “retailers will need to constantly improve profit in the e-commerce space in order to maintain positive investor sentiment and long term capital gains.”

You immediately climax.

The end.

That’s the tweet.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

I would venture to say that EBITDA is a much more effective metric than life expectancy.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Life expectancy, the most basic measure of the health of a society, rose slightly in 2018 in the United States, after a rare and troubling decline driven by the opioid epidemic https://t.co/ZWI7UryTjD

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

While you were doing drugs...I studied balance sheets.

While you were having pre-marital sex...I studied fixed income assets.

While you were at the gym for the sake of vanity...I studied Wealth of Nations.

Now that earnings season is here...you are afraid and I am prepared.

[Pierce St. Investments @pierce_street]

You vs. The guy she told you not to worry about: