Plated Eals

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@elladorn_ Richard of York did not give battle in vain just so my Geography GCSE grade could suffer.

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@SweatieAngle Oar no

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@anon_opin Here you go pal: https://t.co/loHH4Vc1fc

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@fesshole Store vertically or horizontally?

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@jerrysaltz Dogs mainly.

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@capybaroness Same as washing machines and dishwashers. Why am I wasting water and time?

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@AbakpaJob Midnight, teatime and wine o'clock would like a word.

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@Ameer_Kotecha Never. I just ask the person next to me on the self-checkout if they can scan their loyalty card.

100% "yes" rate.

I get things at normal price, random stranger gets points, and Tesco gets slightly dodgy algorithm data.

Win win win.

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@_kjs1874 Is that John Travolta or Nic Cage?

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@fesshole Reminds me of this story: https://t.co/6E4lFdeDRO

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@KILLTOPARTY Maybe she's come off contraception for the first time since she met him and she's now starting to smell his 'real' smell?
https://t.co/zny2dov9VM

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@gloopbastard Surely the surgeon would instead say it's all gone tits up?

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@morninggloria A black swan or white swan?

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@anon_opin Not for everything though. Just tell me 1 tbsp honey (not 10ml)

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@PurpyNFL Bob's step-son.

[Harry Eccles @Heccles94]

I don’t mind my data being used my for research to help the NHS etc, however, because the government have now allowed Palantir access, I have withdrawn my consent using this link:

https://t.co/OZpVijLzMB

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@marlborozanov Two sets of identical twins.

[Plated Eals @PlatedEals]

@JihadalHaqq A Number 2?

[Stu thats all you get🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Boldyboy1975]

Imagine going for a pint ,then go viral 🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣

[SP @sspencerukk]

Why haven’t cinemas in the UK not pivoted to showing football n other sports?

They’re always empty. Beer tap by the screen, home n away sections. Would be decent I reckon