priya

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists

[priya @priyapatel06]

Espresso martinis are top tier

[☪ @darkIuvs]

if it involves pasta or sunsets count me in

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

jury duty is a wild concept. whenever the government wants, they can just be like “call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder 🥰 here’s fifteen dollars.”

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Modern Love: "When I told Howard that we should meet again in five years to see if we were meant to be together, I thought I was just being practical. My idea was less about romance than hedging our bets." https://t.co/CDxf5oKsRC

[Nikki Insana @NikkiInsana]

You’re telling me my professor who can’t stop the YouTube autoplayer from playing the next video is going to teach classes online? This should be good.

[Karen :) @kay_cherr]

If I was on the bachelor and made it to hometowns where tf would I bring the guy to in Edison NJ?? Top golf?? Menlo?? Oak tree road???

[Airrr @ilysmooky]

my biggest flaw is saying “don’t worry i’m gucci” when in fact i am t.j maxx

[bottlerocket @bottlerocket]

I talk a lot of shit for someone that has to run something by a group chat to make a decision

[ebs♡ @ebonyiasia]

7 billion people in the world and you think your soulmate is from Rutgers????? New Brunswick??????

[Ammar @AmmarAHabib]

"A summer night, our favorite song, a view above our city, & you. I've waited 6 years for this."

[Dylan Hafer @thedylanhafer]

me: I should really save money this weekend

me, 3 drinks deep at Friday happy hour: should I buy a Chanel handbag yes or yes