Richard Martinez

In the real world I write, make films, and podcast. On Twitter I post random thoughts.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@v0mitac0 @PostGay "Forgive me for filming in a bathroom"
No.
"I'm not going in here."
Then don't. Even though you already did.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@5sf Joy Ride all the way!

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@boiicheesecake We are fickle creatures.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

But seriously - what is the agenda of extroverts?

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@boiicheesecake I was about to say "sure" since I now use a different account. But then I saw your profile. I think I'll squat on this instead of giving it to Mr. "chokeahoe".

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@MonicaLewinsky 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@realDonaldTrump 🤦🏽‍♂️ Can you just unplug your television for a week and maybe read a newspaper or scientific journal?

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@abbeyhowe Yes, but only because I probably am.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

"Semi-permanent" should not be a word that exists.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

My Lyft driver was playing Bon Jovi. Do I hold it against her?

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

Adding water to soap creates suds. When you've had enough of the suds, you wash them away with water. I'm pretty sure this violates the law of conservation of energy.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

Toothpaste should be more adhesive than it is.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

I think we need to discuss the philosophy and morality of ice cream cones more often than we do.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@realDonaldTrump The U.S. Forest Service falls under control of the federal government, you ignorant sociopath.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

Nearly 37 years old and I still haven't been able up form a coherent opinion about tribute bands.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@verb1991 We don't? Shit, I'm doing man wrong

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

It just occurred to me that the whole Kayne interrupting Taylor Swift thing in 2009 was actually about something much bigger.

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@abbeyhowe

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@abbeyhowe We love you! #DrunkerTwitter

[Richard Martinez @richardmartinez]

@abbeyhowe I don't have anything written yet! Lisa and I are at a bar. #DrunkTwitter