sarah 🤠

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

i never knew i could trust a man until i met my sweetheart of a boyfriend like sometimes i don’t know why he puts up with me

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

l love waking up to no caller id calls all night because they always come back

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

i work 2 jobs, have 2 friends that i met last month who are both a double income lifestyle, life is weird

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

This man ran to my passenger seat with an umbrella to cover my new dark hair from getting curly because he knew I just got it done. Man childhood best friends do be working

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

Corporate work from home girly by day 🤝 picking up dinner shifts at the restaurant

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

Having to put your keyboard back to capital letters bcuz you’re a corporate work from home girly

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

feeling bad you might have ruined an engagement because you went home with this dude who you didn’t know was engaged… and he’s engaged to your dads first baby mommas niece. when worlds collide

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

my mom went to ana’s with me with everyone who bullied me were there and she’s like at least they’re fat and go no where in life and lori you’re right

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

why did a girl who outted me for a dv relationship come up to me asking for blow.. yeah my bestie asked her to go outside to talk.. ana’s man

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

my mom poured wine for the inventors of pixar characters today and met everyone who made buzz light year and whatever while i was in bed hungover violently dying

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

nothing hurts more than getting roofied at the bar you go to 2x a week but luckily your mom was there that one time to take care of you .. oh you know and also being sexually assaulted there for the cherry on top

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

living alone is lit i just woke up to 6 homies on my couch was my door was locked shut

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

@Jakeakins4 @massilyaaaa her favorite one

[virgobaby @maybeeevirgo]

me and my bestie:

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

i knew i had to cut this bitch off when she told me 38 was too old for her when she was …. 38

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

my plug has good marketing

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

walked into the dispo for a bag of edibles and ended up with 6 make that make sense

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

going to church with the start of my black eye… not a vibe

[sarah 🤠 @sarahkellyp]

do you even wake up with a black eye no just me