Sarah Smallwood Parsons

I’m a performer that puts my costume on too soon 🌈 She/Her

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

Put your holiday orders in for my best selling lemon vase! https://t.co/8rgK7jmoLY

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

Get some cigarette earrings for your stockings this year! https://t.co/sJOxo5nUuX

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

It’s the time of year that people assume I’m in costume just because I have f*cking taste

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

I love gay

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

I was showing a friend’s mom a vase I made and as soon as I touched it a piece of it fell off and rolled into my cats litter box

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

write solo characters with me!
https://t.co/0hg3zGUgee

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

Me on my way to Characters Welcome at @UnionHallny tonight

[♱༺ℭ༻♱ @cvittv]

IT’S OCTOBER BITCHES

[Wonder of Science @wonderofscience]

A rare encounter with a giant phantom jellyfish 990m (3,200 ft) beneath the surface in Monterey Bay.

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

the original filter was those email birthday cards where they put your face on a dancing cartoon

[Discreet 🍥 @DiscreetLatino]

how uncut guys get home

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

This guy is struggling with his sexuality for sure

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

John C Riley wrote this

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

If you read the introduction of the book instead of just skipping to chapter one honestly werk

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

Buzz lightyear landing on the moon was fake

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

I smoke every day but I cough like I’ve never had a weed

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

@EricFeurer and I teach these workshops and they are fun! https://t.co/twZG6QcAxT

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

The other night I was in bed and was thirsty but was so fucking lazy that I hung off my bed and sipped from my cats water fountain please cancel me

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

Pashminas had such a choke hold on me in 8th grade. Highlight of the Broadway Trip.

[Sarah Smallwood Parsons @sarahsparsons]

I love a trinket

[Hatched @HatchedNYC]

Watch our genius new sketch with @sarahsparsons!
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