surlysaltine

I’m way sexier on The Gram.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@WillKunkelV 27. Straight. Curves. Legend.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

The Team America remake looks like shit.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@captainhowdy_13 @causticbob Shania Twain.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@FirstDescendant Fix the dogs Fix the dogs Fix the dogs Fix the dogs Fix the dogs FIX THE DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@FirstDescendant Fix the dogs from being as fast as the bikes. Fix them from bumping me around and off the map already.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

At this point I don’t know what it’s gonna take to have Mr. Kotter release the Epstein Files.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Looks like Argyle from Stranger Things is about to go supernova.

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

BREAKING: Democrats have engaged Olivia Julianna as part of their strategy to bring young men to the Democratic Party.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Don’t tell Scotty.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Michelle Trachtenberg has sadly passed away at the age of 39.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@FirstDescendant Waaay too many server disconnects while trying to load into void purges.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

If you plan on attending a future One Direction concert you should demand a 20% discount.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@miaxomonroe Hi!

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Now Trump & Stormy Daniels can both say they’ve taken shots to the face.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@LeonSandoTXMN @BlaiseInKC I thought Questionable Meat was the Q part of LGBTQ.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

@Zepp1978 I was remembering back to the time I think we were on chat playing Horizon and you told that story. Good times.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Hopefully OJ can spend eternal damnation learning a skill other than running with a football or making Pez dispensers.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

The Astros should have Go Fuck Yourself night. You could throw out the ceremonial first pitch then asphyxiate on a dollar hot dog. Bitch.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

The Don King Cobra.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Happy Ash Wednesday to Paul Walker.

[surlysaltine @surlysaltine]

Looks like somebody edited out the Brazzers logo.

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Adult star Lisa Ann arrested, she says she was accused of looking at her phone while watching comedian Matt Rife