Tom Morton

Writes and talks. Cooks and eats. Rides motorcycles. Contemplates golf courses.

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Infestation, retaliation, cancellation...dealing with the Zetlandic supermouse as tourists leave in terror of losing their cheese...new Substack and Wordpress pieces online now. https://t.co/dYC0Vi2jXT

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

@boomtown64

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

@JimHHartsell I wish they’d left it as a cliffhanger while watching the show. Possible ends for Tosh? Tries to swim to Norway because “you can see it from here”? Accidentally tumbles into fish food processing machine? Fired into space from Saxa Vord rocket launching site?

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Six AM Bagpipes (The Flowers of Scotland) https://t.co/mpMnpoTGVm #Scotland #worldcup

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Enjoying #Legends, on the whole, but it gets a bit lost in the last two episodes. 2 tonnes of opium is not the same as 2 tonnes of heroin.

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

They’ve appropriated the name “Plymouth Brethren”, but they’re actually an extreme minority of ‘Exclusives’ who split from the Brethren movement I grew up in. https://t.co/oHGAjImG9k

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

…who took their name (formerly known as Spencer Tracey) from a 1951 Sinatra film about a failing nightclub singer, kinda like Paul Rudd in Power Ballad

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Loving the notion that the new blockbuster movie #PowerBallad has a world superstar popster central character called Danny Wilson. Music was co-written by Dundee’s Gary Clark, former lead singer with the band…Danny Wilson https://t.co/NbHtebMs1m

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Thoughts on ignorance being marital bliss… https://t.co/3jPoV1U7ZG

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Darling! Your Lalique salt’n’sauce set’s here!

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

New on Substack and https://t.co/fbHRTDYX5Y - a wee jaunt to Paris, with added bone marrow. And why avoiding the tourist traps is no good thing. If you’re a tourist. https://t.co/Ecx4RuDs42

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

C’mon @StarbucksUK, you can’t offer this mystery ‘protein foam’ when your flat whites taste like bad Horlicks. Even a free third shot did absolutely nothing.

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

This will ambush you when you least expect it.

[lawrencedonegan @lawrencedonegan]

This is a fantastic piece of journalism. And this guy Polanski is a creep and his Green Party is one of the most cynical and dishonest scams in modern British political history.

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

The Northernmost Campaign, Bulletin 3: Lessons from history, Donald Trump’s on the blower, and the Kate Forbes factor https://t.co/Vn56Qy4uws

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

Duffing up the disabled: The Northernmost campaign, Shetland to Holyrood, 2026, by @thebeatcroft https://t.co/9Gl5mUrhXr

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

So...a cruise ship chartered by extreme fundamentalist MAGA-supporting evangelicals heads for Dubai through the Straits of Hormuz. They hope to provoke the Second Coming of Christ. Goin’ On a Sea Cruise (Through the Straits of Hormuz) by Wanderin’ Scar Quilse.

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

It was @rickygervais’s enthusiasm that sent me to #MrInbetween. It’s magnificent. Funny, brutal and harrowing. On Disney+

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

New Beatcroft newsletter. The horrors found beneath the kitchen basin…audio download or stream. Also available as a Substack. https://t.co/tUKHxRB8Kl

[Tom Morton @thebeatcroft]

The last motorcycle. Transports of joy. Saying goodbye to two wheels. New Beatcroft newsletter, free to read (or listen) and subscribe as ever. Also available on Substack. https://t.co/0BwNlEmCmP