God

Spiritual but not religious. Boy, did I come back angry or what?

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I sure am, Benny. I sure am.

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

God is the greatest artist.

Incredible.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@RapidResponse47 Your personal knowledge of the friendlessness of the anonymous Weather Channel employee who reported factual truth is truly remarkable.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

It's the least I can do. Which is what I've been doing.

[The Weather Channel @weatherchannel]

UFC Freedom 250 is facing a chaotic weather setup on the White House South Lawn, with a 60% chance of thunderstorms, heavy downpours, and wind gusts up to 34 mph threatening to delay the outdoor fights. On top of the storm risk, brutal D.C. humidity is driving a triple-digit heat index alongside massive swarms of mosquitos and gnats that fighters will have to battle inside the cage. While the venue’s massive 92-foot overhang will keep the octagon dry, a single lightning strike within eight miles will trigger an automatic 30-minute freeze on the entire event.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@realannapaulina @ufc Did you know it's possible for two things to both be wrong?

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@MrPyKL3 @bennyjohnson Thoughts?

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@MrPyKL3 @bennyjohnson I'm not a fan either. But if you're going to start going after someone's physical condition, we could spend an hour talking about you-know-who.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Wait till you see My masterpiece.

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

God is the greatest artist.

Incredible.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@Rita_Sauser @bennyjohnson Except I'm not a one-hit wonder.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@OneBadDude_ You might even say it was Planned Parenthood.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@OneBadDude_ That's right. His parents were careful to fuck exactly nine months before Flag Day to ensure that outcome.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@OneBadDude_ That's right. His parents were careful to fuck exactly nine months before Flag Day to ensure that outcome.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@Rita_Sauser @bennyjohnson I'm a douchebag, Frau. I don't know how much clearer I can make history tell you that.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@bennyjohnson BTW this is the face of a man who may not be entirely familiar with the entire oeuvre of the Wu Tang Clan.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@bennyjohnson Let me give it a shot. I'm going to make mine even subtler, so give it a minute:

Benny Johnson is a douchebag.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@bennyjohnson Do you ever worry that your wordplay is TOO clever? Like, it's so subtle that people might miss it? 'Cause yes, I caught the allusions to Christie's weight in this, but I'll bet a lot of people didn't because it was so nuanced.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Imagine being so obsessed with a clearly satirical Twitter account that you make angry tweets about him. Touch grass, vote red, and be a loser for the rest of your life.

[Disciplinarian @Grandmaster635]

@TheTweetOfGod Imagine being so obsessed with an 80-year-old that you make fake God tweets about him. Touch grass, vote blue, and lose again in 2028 like always.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

@Grandmaster635 Imagine being so obsessed with a clearly satirical Twitter account that you make angry tweets about him. Touch grass, vote red, and be a loser for the rest of your life.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Today Donald Trump turns 80 and I am so, so sorry.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Big plans. Big, big plans.

[Meidas_Charise Lee @charise_lee]

UFC press conference postponed due to the rain. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. May this be the wettest weekend on record for DC!