Velocirooster chicxulubensis

Off to beiger pastures. Find me at

[Velocirooster chicxulubensis @Theropologist]

IT'S THE LAST THEROPOD THURSDAY!

Folks, it's time for me to close up shop here. Thanks to everyone who has participated over the years. It's been a lot of fun. If you have any interest in Mastodon please check out the instance I run at https://t.co/n6Eu6yOgwT

NOW SEND TWEETS!!!

[Random (and Fake!) Trivia @RndmFakeTrivia]

Canada's Wood Buffalo National Park is bigger than Denmark, but contains approximately 68% fewer LEGO® viking minifigures. #RandomAndFakeTrivia #CanadaDay

[Random (and Fake!) Trivia @RndmFakeTrivia]

Most white cats with blue eyes are deaf, while the remainder are just ignoring you. #RandomAndFakeTrivia

[Random (and Fake!) Trivia @RndmFakeTrivia]

An average dinosaur weighed about 3,500 kg (7,700 lb), while a below-average dinosaur weighed less. #RandomAndFakeTrivia

[Improper Traci @ImproperTraci]

My pair of poodles have learned how to make a pillow-fort. Don't ask me how, they're self taught.

[chonk @freshchonk]

cocaine is actually legal in there. that's why they call it the Whitehouse and Biden's code name is the "snowman".

[Terri @terrip38]

Alice through the needle’s eye: an adventure about threads

[eLeni @eleniZarro]

Underwire broke and now I’ve got one boob in my pocket and the other one is hailing a taxi cab

[Lance Said This @Lance_Said_This]

Boy, nothing is more misleading than having someone invite you over to "Netflix and chill" and then all you end up really doing is just watch a movie and relax.

[Lance Said This @Lance_Said_This]

Carefully placing the toilet seat cover in a public restroom only to have it blow away the second I sit down is just the way I roll.

[Lance Said This @Lance_Said_This]

I always thought my dog hated 4th of July because of the fireworks, but it turns out all this time he was just a 1700s English Sympathist. 🤷‍♂️

[My Life As Dad @milifeasdad]

I spent a solid 10 minutes lecturing my kid about not writing on the couch with a pen and she said “It’s a marker not a pen.”

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

for the potato fears not death

[The Fishpants @thefishpants]

Me: Wait, dead presidents means money?
Zombie George Washington clawing his way up from the basement: BRAINS
Me: NOT NOW GEORGE

[The Fishpants @thefishpants]

The Burger King can legally officiate a wedding, but only if the rings are onion rings

[JBro @Jaybro006]

Manifesting the lady on the plane by going into department stores and shouting at mannequins.

[OyVeyLady @OyVeyLady]

Have hit the point in summer break where I tell my kids to play outside and not come in or else. Follow me for more gentle parenting advice.

[Fomo Simpson @HaliPhacks]

Like a fallen ice cube kicked under the refrigerator these are the days of our lives.