U16 Bloxorz World Champion

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Imagine you get into an argument at the bar and you wake up to that pony playin the piano

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

There are full on PhD candidates falling victim to the simple joy that is riding a bike through the walmart

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Brian from accounting said your baby mom aint even post your single (where she at)

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Horseshoe theory for straight women is when they are so attracted to a celebrity they can only hope like paul rudd is somewhere mackin a dude

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Dudes are having bachelor parties that involve doing a hyrox and going to church. That aint a party thats a 12 step program

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

If you are not making it a true daily double I mean what the fuck are you doing here

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

I hope everyone knows I once again won my argument against no one in the shower

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

@DiscussingFilm Please go see my biopic!

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Your hinge date is having a UN summit with her roommates (all single) debating if she should go on a second date with you because you didnt instinctively throw the issey miyake bomber over a puddle for her

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

I am praying nightly that girls break up with their mid bfs like im brad fucking pitt and its not a 1-for-1 trade

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

My upstairs neighbor must test bowling ball durability like JESUS FUCK SOME OF US HAVE OUR PART TIME JOB AT 3 PM TOMORROW!!!

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Gooning it to crazyrussianhacker tn to pay respect to those who came before

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

If you say phrases like “catch 22” I turn your voice into Charlie Brown’s teacher because you want to be fucking stephen hawking

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Walking behind someone using ASL and I dont know a lick of it but lemme tell ya this bitch is signing her ass off

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Like you didnt think muscleman was autistic give me a fucking break

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

My mother would be horrified to learn that I have more recently been on the regular show subreddit than linkedin

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Coworker at my movie theater job doesnt rotate the popcorn bucket so the butter is evenly dispersed. What a fucking talentless hack he is

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Cannot wait for my future child to steal my credit card so they can buy the yodeling kid + mohammed bin salman fortnite bundle

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Asking my aunt “have you been looksmaxxing?” after she drops 3 pounds

[U16 Bloxorz World Champion @torterracotta]

Saying “its a liability thing” as I pass the check to my date