Tweetjeebus

Take up your browser and follow me. I'm just a workaday Saviour with an occasional Twitter habit.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

Jupiter brought his spear to the cafe this time. "What's that for?" I asked. "The tip!" he laughed. "You're killing me." "Sorry about that."

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

I always have coffee with Jupiter the morning after Easter to show they're no hard feelings.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

I'm beat after all those services today, but I can't sleep with all the Judaizers arguing whether chocolate bunnies are kosher. FML

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@GentCyclist @chrisbaskind That's actually not a bad likeness, gents. Of course we mostly went with the screw-top goatskins.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@RevBeccaStevens Well, it only seemed fair.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

It's true that I've risen, but I haven't had coffee yet. Mind keeping things down to a dull roar for a bit? Thanks. #EasterRising #Easter

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

Somebody blocked me. Don't bother calling during football season.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

I'm not going to endorse a candidate, but if @realDonaldTrump wins, I'm gonna have a lot of trouble getting through airport security.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

It's not like any of us encouraged you, Marco. Just saying. https://t.co/DE75JIPmTn

[Jim Roberts @nycjim]

Rubio: "It is not God’s plan that I will be president in 2016.”

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

Someone is trying to get in on my Second Coming action. https://t.co/BE2EvHWFcp

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Radiohead will return to the stage with a world tour. The band last performed live in 2012. https://t.co/C0o7dj9gkW

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@sinden Thank you for picking up your church organ and following me. That looks heavy.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@realDonaldTrump @BrazielCarol @FoxNews Both of the Corinthians disagree.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

If I find who put the Trump 2016 yard sign in front of the Pearly Gates, there will be hell to pay. I'm talking to you, St. Paul.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

Oh, great. There's a US primary tomorrow. If I weren't so obviously immortal, I'd call in sick.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

Well, crap. I just lost the office pool on the Michigan race.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@NathanHamm @kurtcwiesner And beer before wine, not wine before beer.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@PB_Curry You look a lot like Dad. But I bet you know that.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@mjordtsheets Your sins are forgiven. We were in front of the TV, too.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@KovacsJk Ouch! That cape makes me look fat.

[Tweetjeebus @Tweetjeebus]

@SLCPatriot @Kaitlynnnn_Ann I feel so loved. Bless you, my son.