U_n

[U_n @u_nderscore]

These's #lowes commercials are getting to me. I think I'm gonna install a backsplash on the inside of my toilet bowl. #neverstopimproving

[U_n @u_nderscore]

If you fart in your sleep and no one is roused, does it make a smell?

[U_n @u_nderscore]

I intentionally mistype the name Brian as Brain just to see if people notice. #HiBrain

[U_n @u_nderscore]

@BillNye What if plants farted?

[U_n @u_nderscore]

The asshole is BUTT a part of the wholeass. #MoonDay

[U_n @u_nderscore]

Society has finally progressed to a point where adult diaper commercials actually show the adults wearing the diapers!!! Thank you #Depends!!!

[U_n @u_nderscore]

I wipe my ass with individually-wrapped cheese. #Kraft #Craft

[U_n @u_nderscore]

@StewartsShops best ice cream in the world!

[U_n @u_nderscore]

*Looks @ #results*

How is this happening? I've been here before - I learned from this!

I #DISTINCTLY remember chewing all that corn. Did my guts & asshole put it back together??

*Develops a #metaphysical connection w/ frankencorn, flushes*

[U_n @u_nderscore]

I farted into a fan and it smelled like Darth Vader.

[U_n @u_nderscore]

It's the last day of May!! Get in your bikini with me!

[The Oatmeal @Oatmeal]

Travis.

[U_n @u_nderscore]

@Oatmeal Thank you for sharing! This made our day!

[U_n @u_nderscore]

Collecting your jar of farts and tearing love apart.

[U_n @u_nderscore]

Deathmaticians https://t.co/4NjADFtTkw via @wordpressdotcom

[U_n @u_nderscore]

We all need to stop measuring everything, ok? Don't project your obsession with measurements on me and call me #late.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I'm coming down to help you all out just as soon as I start existing.

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

On the DVD case of Air Bud, the dog is clearly dunking. Yet in the movie he only takes jump shots.
So I guess my question is: What The Fuck?