@x_interupt Yeah. I need to make a video about the trip but my adhd/anxiety brain has a hard time consolidating the information and not making it long and winded. It was... an experience. Some good, a lot not so good. Amtrak needs to do a LOT better.
This Amtrak thing is an anxiety person's worst nightmare. Smiling is an absolute no no. No explanation on what is happening or where, how, etc. Got yelled at by the train guy from the next car in front of everyone. And something is BURNING THE SHIT OUT OF MY EYES.
Yeah. This is hell. I'm in hell. Saying this would be enjoyable by everyone was a fucking lie. There isn't ahit for space, something in here is making my eyes burn out of my head and the friendliness is 0.
@Amacleod99 As hard as my, very well connected, friend has tried, there isn't a soul who wants me. It is an incredibly shitty and defeating feeling. ๐
And now watching all the people who said they "loved" me but more than willing to watch me drown have reappeared to "cheer" me on. ๐
Life through another fun curveball and confirmed that being unwanted is my specialty. This one is going to take a minute to swallow. Hope was a hell of a thing. I'm not doing that any more. Now, it's live in the moment until there's no more moments. I hate me.