WI_MorticianSupp

Hi, I'm Victor Sweeney, a licensed Funeral Director and Mortician, and I'm here with @WIRED answering all your mortician questions!

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@soggyemma That's definitely an option. You can be buried in the ground without a casket. A lot of funeral homes put substantial markups on their casket (1.5x to 2x what the wholesale cost is). It's a way to collect money on the tail end of a service.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@LippBoi I do give haircuts every so often--usually only to men, and usually only if it's minor. If someone actually does need their hair done, we'll sometimes call a hair dresser in. It's fairly simple since you're only working with the front and the sides of the head.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@joncowap I haven't heard too many strange funeral songs myself, but I have this dream. I have a friend, and I told him if he passes away before I do, I'd really like to sing "On Eagle's Wings" but like the Swedish Chef from The Muppets.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@ririimon Remind me in a hundred years and we'll ask an archeologist what they think. That's one of those things I just don't know. As to whether or not I think about it, I guess I haven't before, but... I am now.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@clementoontown We do not remove fat and sew someone back up. Everybody is buried intact. We actually have manufacturer-made oversized caskets. If someone larger passes away we'll measure them at their elbows, as those stick out the furthest, and then determine what width of casket we'll need.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@JadedNever1 Yes. I've always removed contact lenses in order to "set the features." This means closing the mouth and eyes. We have a device that helps us do this. They're called eye caps and they're essentially spiky contact lenses that will grip the eyelids when we pull them down.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@Court8311 Dead bodies smell awful. Rotting anything smells awful. We are hardwired to think dead human bodies smell bad. And it's a smell you never forget. I went to a nice restaurant that had aged steak--and I couldn't do it.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@gr33npink That is such a good question. I have no idea. Dig one up and find out!

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@laneyg7 The short answer to that is: yes. I’ve heard of that happening from colleagues of mine. And as we all know, cats being inferior to dogs, they will do anything. They are opportunists.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@tombolguid I never actually know what happens after burial. To have an exhumation you actually need a court order to open the casket. I've heard of cases where they've opened the casket and the body looks more or less unchanged, and this was maybe 50 years after the fact.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@Determined_T I really couldn't say what the minimum and maximum are. I've read the average in the country is about $65,000/year. Talking to my other friends and colleagues, that seems to be about the average for my area as well.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@futurecorpze If not donating, all your organs stay inside your body; we can prep them all internally. After we finish the arterial embalming we do cavity embalming in which we puncture the lungs, heart, intestines, stomach, and kidneys. Donated organs are handled by organ harvesting companies

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@Kid_melodie Yes we do. I have a 4 year degree. We took courses on what's called "restorative art," which includes makeup and coloring. But it also includes things like putting people back together after accidents, sculpting an ear if someone's lost an ear, etc.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@ThatDoodleBunny There are times when it's emotional. You do feel it and there are days where you come home and just feel done and don't want to do it anymore. But the fact that you can help people in a way nobody else can is what keeps you going in those hard times.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@AdultMango I don't believe in ghosts, but that doesn't mean I don't get creeped out at times. I've had situations where I had to return to the scene of a death and it's a little eerie. I'm not saying there's no such thing as the supernatural, but I don't really concern myself with it much.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@ie_Jumper That's a really good question. I've never affixed a toe tag to someone who doesn't have feet. I would assume you'd put it around the wrist or a finger.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@Paul_Matthews13 Yes. All of our bodily wastes are disposed just like our normal bodily wastes are disposed--the sewer system that goes right to the water treatment plant.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@vampflore I can assure you embalming fluid is not tasty. It smells awful. The coloring may be there so the embalmer doesn't need to read the label. But the red ones are to replace the red fluid we are taking out of the body, to make the deceased look pinkish and less pale.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@LeoDeMontaque The short answer is yes. I was worried about this when I got into this profession. At a certain point when you see a dead body you go into work mode. I was worried I'd see my own loved ones as something to help/fix. It's a matter of perspective and where you're at at the moment.

[WI_MorticianSupp @WMorticiansupp]

@opiadana I've never done that and I've never had anybody ask. If you really wanted to, you'd have to have a disposition permit that would have cremation & burial. I guess we'd have to sign a waiver to cut someone in half. Bigger question: what half do you cremate & what half do you bury?