Weird Christmas

All things holly, jolly, and odd-ly. (Craig Kringle, Weird Xmas Podcast & ReReading Wolfe) Old cards! Anachronism! Murdering frogs and dead birds! Ho/ho/(ho)

[Weird Christmas @weird_christmas]

It's time! WEIRD CHRISTMAS FLASH FICTION CONTHOLOGY time!!! 350 words, deadline Nov 29, win fabulous prizes and join an honest-to-god TRADITION of the weirdest, most messed up Christmas/winter holiday fiction around.

https://t.co/gsrx2ogy3N

[Weird Christmas @weird_christmas]

Gawd, the FRENCH.

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DIEGESIS! NO!

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@RaeBate70162400 Agreed. This whole series of cards is something else.

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@LeftBrainMom1 Please do! I mean, I did...

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Get your ass in a book!

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@jamesfinngarner In a life shaped by crises, what's one more catastrophe?

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@SandraAnnKelley Calcifer's the little flame dude. This reminds me of the bouncy scarecrow thing.

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Anyone ever seen Howl's Moving Castle?

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@dustinpari If an infinite number of monkeys might eventually produce one that could write Hamlet, it would take infinitely more monkeys to produce one that could read it and appreciate it with the same aesthetic subtlety Frank Kermode.

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Well, that's a big ole "Fuck off!" from me, dawg.

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I told him, "You're only as strong as your weakest fairy wing, buddy. If you don't assert yourself, that flute's not going to play itself."

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This is exactly why they stopped letting gnomes innovate after the Turnip Incident of '03.

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@eleonorasfalcon You're absolutely right. I forget it's probably easier to hold on to a lemon when riding sidesaddle.

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Nah, if she was going for every pleasure, she wouldn't be riding side saddle.

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Jolly... fish. Sure.

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Jesus. I'm so glad I'm not French. Pere Noel was, as the British say, a right bastard.

[Weird Christmas @weird_christmas]

Look, it's the dead shell of civic responsibility!

[Weird Christmas @weird_christmas]

Ah, Halloween. The time for great Dutch child lust.