William

Antisexist, antiracist, antijerk. Sassmouth, nosyparker, busybody. (And you're probably looking for @iamwill or @WilliamsRuto.) opinions all mine. He or they.

[William @william]

Not sure who needs to hear this, but if you've opened Twitter to take a break, are you really feeling like somebody taking a break?

[jenny_tightpants🪑 @halomancer1]

just had the mental image of elon musk sobbing in a running tesla in a closed garage. waiting for release that will never come.

[William @william]

Oh, the disproportionately male pundits and pollsters? Hmmmmm.

[William @william]

@AdamParkhomenko Is that because he's still in New Jersey?

[William @william]

@DaveOrrick @elonmusk

[William @william]

@ItsMeHenning @gwenckatz Weirdly, I get that. There's something similar about the flavors to me that comes out especially in ice cream. That guy's going to be real excited to learn that they also have pistachio-flavored nuts.

[William @william]

@alyankovic I had no idea he was in Johnny Mysto!

[Kelli Butler @KelliButlerAZ]

My opponent was arrested on Oct. 4th for sexual indecency 190 ft from children playing at a childcare center. We still have not heard about a charging decision from the Maricopa County Attorney. Anyone know if this a typical timeframe for this process?
https://t.co/TMb3wuKxWd

[William @william]

I've known water balloons with thicker skin.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended

[William @william]

@Mike___Kilo @johniadarola He worked at Paypal for 6 months before they fired him. His big effort there? Trying to replace their Linux servers with Windows NT. Such a genius.

[William @william]

@nbrink77 @dynamicsymmetry Privilege is worse than lead paint chips.

[William @william]

@StorySlug William of Occam wasn't the first to think of Occam's Razor, so I'm ok with that.

[William @william]

This is so handy! I declare it Kelly's Razor.

[William @william]

@nbrink77 Whoa, I read some of that thread and it's wild. Imagine thinking that "third-grade science" is the highest and best kind.

[William @william]

@skinnylatte Amazon sells 55-gallon drums of lube, so you could combine this question with your struggle with US units.(FYI, the US gallon is not the same as the Imperial gallon, making it even more confusing.)

[William @william]

@skinnylatte I think you should do this as a panel show with other immigrants. Some actual answers, a lot of good-natured laughing. I'd watch the hell out of it.

[paul 💫 🍉 @pualnewwin]

whenever someone says #doctorwho has gone “woke” we all need to share this video. https://t.co/UMwtjRKUfm

[William @william]

@CapehartJ Why's that? If you look at how CEO succession works, duty is often exactly what drives picking a successor and vigorously preparing for the transition.

[William @william]

@ARossP @jtlevy Sorry for getting distracted by a detail, but isn't "Jekyll Island" a little on the nose for Masters?

[Malynda Hale @MalyndaHale]

It's funny the Jewish community is being accused of trying to control everything, but I can't remember the last time a Jewish person tried to force their religion on me, or govern the country based on what THEY believe in.

[William @william]

HOA boards across PA are rubbing their hands in glee.

[Pat Dennis @patdennis]

Holy shit: Oz says his abortion position: should be between "a woman, her doctor, and local political leaders" #PASenDebate