Jeau Solo Moon

i am the *ONLY* goose man

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

when my mom says “wow you’re looking a little slimmer these days!”

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@HamForDessert @LUH_P_CHILD this is the best take I’ve seen in a WHILE

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

if youda told me in January that in May I’d be wearing my brother’s geisha halloween costume from when he was 10, and hosting a trivia happy hour for my coworkers on a video chat....

I’d be like yeah that sounds about right

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

THE DIVE AND THE DOUBLE PLAY 🔥

(h/t @espnw, @accnetwork)

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

*scrolling through the active user list on facebook*

wow what kind of weird idiot is just chillin on Facebook at 11:54PM on a Wednesday

*realizing too late that I’m describing myself*

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

dugs well chuffed with itself

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@alluringparsley this is true

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

opened a salsa jar today that no one else could, and then later also cried gently to This Ones For The Girls by Martina McBride.

no one else can even dream of having this range

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@xtinahhhhh I love how much twitter you’re doing keep it up hunny luv 😘😘

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@radderer keep my gen out ya mouth

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

today was the first time actually ever that I heard a recording of my own voice and didn’t hate the shit out of it

i’m becoming powerful . . .

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

i’m thinkin i need to run that 70s show back sometime soon

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

when babies do the thing where they cry so hard that it makes no sound, they’ve unlocked a new level of emotional agony, and we should applaud their valuable gained experience

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

favorite movie: film
favorite tv show: programming
favorite food: meal
favorite color: “colour”
favorite animal: big
favorite song: cristina agalera jeany in a bottle

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

the hot babes of Instagram are always DMing me links in groups with some of the other hot Instagram dudes (all less hot than me though) and we all love it

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@DaveandBusters no this can’t happen!

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

i still haven’t ever been to a dave and busters but that’s only because people say you should never meet your heroes

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

people who are known by a single word (ie Madonna) operate on the highest astral plane

people who go by full name (ie Philip Seymour Hoffman) are demigods

people who go by first and last (ie Casey Chura) are normies and plebes

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

modified blood and sand

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

i b cocktailin this weekend

blackberry gin fizz // brandy old fashioned

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

@narch21 there was no kneeling. just standing, sitting, staring, and resisting every urge to look at my phone

[Jeau Solo Moon @YourFriendJMS]

just watched church on tv with my parents and there were the same amount of jokes as last night’s SNL