Val ✨

Lexie’s mommy 🥰

[mags @jigumags]

#TheTestaments

[Thel 🏳️‍⚧️🦌 @EPM106]

underdiscussed struggle with weight loss is that fast food tastes way better when you’re fat

[Hannah @dumbandfunn]

also worn by Carrie Bradshaw in season four of Sex and the City!!

[No filter Skin @NoFilterSkin]

One thing nobody tells you about adulthood is how fun it is to become your own person. One day you randomly start liking jazz, olive green, expensive dark chocolate, documentaries about volcanoes, weird lamps, sparkling water, books about loneliness in Tokyo, silver jewelry and quiet cafés. Your personality keeps unfolding forever if you let it.

[khalia😘😘 @khaliajas]

now kids need fucking Easter baskets, this shit just don’t stop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Uzi @UziCryptoo]

My son recently had a cavity.

Took him to the dentist, who extracted it.

That dentist visit cost $2400. My insurance covered $250, so we owe $2,150 out of pocket.

I pay $612/month for family dental and health insurance.

Something seems broken.

[jas @adriasmonica]

“lucy and evan fucked in college, lucy and i fucked this morning, bree and wrigley BEEN fucking for months” #tellmelies

I didn’t expect stephen to be this funny and clocking everyone 😭

[Maverick Lobo @maverick_lobo7]

Don’t play wit me, play wit yo bxtch

[aziah @aziahhhh1]

girls who tell their boyfriend they friend business is sooooo weird to me

[Lauren Chen @TheLaurenChen]

@JesterJum Why not put your groceries in your car, then bring your kid to put the cart away and carry them back? Thats what I do with mine.

[mau @rllydu]

my ducks: in a row
my elephant: addressed
my eggs: several baskets
my bigger fish: fried

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

microwave: i have a popcorn button designed specially just for making popcorn :)

every microwave popcorn packaging: DO NOT !!! AND I REPEAT !!! DO NOT USE THE FUCKING POPCORN BUTTON ON THE MICROWAVE IT’S FUCKING EVIL !!!

[eve ⭐️ @stayinlavender]

pitch black at 5:30

[Elwë Singollo 🌷🧝🏻‍♀️ @Strangeland_Elf]

Chopped up my caramel apples because people find whole ones intimidating.

[🕸️ @liyahswrld]

if i ever say “I have a question” just know that rico has been built

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

parents be like “we know everything about you” and it's just facts from when you were 9

[Chan💕 @FanBoyAndChan]

To do list for the week:
- judge a book by its cover
- believe that all that glitters is gold
- be a choosy begger
- gain without pain
- leap before looking
- count my chickens before they hatch
- put all my eggs in one basket