JOY

Ashley - 26 - she/they - aroace lesbian - biracial - autistic - schizoaffective disorder

[JOY @_AshJOY]

The overall dismissal of predominantly asexual and aromantic experiences, as well how we chose to articulate them, shows how ingrained aphobia is in society. Erasure is discrimination and, passive or not, it carries a violent weight that deserves to be taken seriously

[JOY @_AshJOY]

There's no wrong way to be aromantic, asexual, or aspec. Intimacy is such a diverse concept that allows for different meanings and associations based on individual desires and boundaries. All the ways in which we navigate our identities are important, and I think that's beautiful

[JOY @_AshJOY]

It runs deeper than people online disliking us and even then, aphobia in online spaces shouldn't be dismissed. It isn't seen as deserving of attention despite being one of the many facets of prolonged discrimination. Aphobia is very real experience that hurts us and the community

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Aphobia is ingrained in our society because allonormativity places such heavy emphasis on sexual and romantic attraction, subsequently follwed by action, in relation to maturity and fulfillment as well as perpetuating them as inherent to the human experience, which isnt inclusive

[JOY @_AshJOY]

This framework actively harms aromantic, asexual, and aspec people while producing a dynamic that rewards being allo. The prioritization of these types of attractions over other ones creates a relationship hierarchy as well as a binary that lacks nuanced experiences

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Happiness and love aren't synonymous as they are presented and perpetuated by allonormativity. It's important to recognize the nuance in identity, as well as other forms of attraction that some of us do and don't experience. We are worthy of inclusion and consideration regardless

[JOY @_AshJOY]

"You're aromantic? But everyone needs love"

Love isn't just romantic, but also centering someone's worth around how they interact with and articulate the idea of intimacy is incredibly othering. Being aromantic isn't a burden; we're whole, and our orientations are a part of that

[JOY @_AshJOY]

While aromantic and asexual people can have healthy partnerships, centering our acceptance and quality of life around that idea does more harm than good. We are deserving of respect and inclusion regardless of how we interact with intimacy and the actions associated with it

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Reimagining partnership as an aromantic person means finding love in community. Friends, chosen family, queerplatonic bonds, and so many other types of connection are important, not because they imitate romance, but because the weight of those relationships stand on their own

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Intimacy as a concept must transcend traditional ideas of sex and romance. When these attractions are viewed as inherent for a deep connection, it pressures an experience onto people without giving them the tools necessary to evaluate what they actually want for themselves

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Diminishing the weight of our emotions, desires, and boundaries, in and out of relationships, because we're aroace is dehumanizing and futhers the oppressive structures that are heavily ingrained within society. Our identities aren't a burden or a sacrifice

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Aromantic and asexual identities aren't the result of unfulfilled allonormativity. Centering our quality of life around how we interact with attraction and its associates perpetuates that we're incomplete when our orientations and experiences are a part of what makes us whole

[JOY @_AshJOY]

That conclusion operates under the idea that we're "missing out" on intrinsic pieces of the human experience and thus we'll never be truly happy, but it fundamentally misunderstands the nuance that exists in our community and how we've broken down normative those concepts

[JOY @_AshJOY]

For me, being aromantic and asexual is just as much of a political identity as it is a personal one. Breaking down normative structures and rejecting the imposition of intimacy, desire, and connection as defined by others is how I prefer to move through the world

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people also deserve to get what they want out of relationships. In the same way that we understand others' unwavering priorities, the weight of our identities and experiences needs to be respected as well

[JOY @_AshJOY]

While aromantic, asexual, and aspec people can engage in actions normatively associated with attraction, our worth shouldn't be centered around it. All of our voices are worth hearing and respecting regardless of how we interact with intimacy and the language surrounding it

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people aren't JUST valid, we're valuable and deserving of a space within the queer community. Letting people know we exist without actually allowing our voices to be heard isn't enough anymore

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people often build their lives around friendships in a way that is intentional and deeply meaningful. Building intimate connections that are real and sustaining without the expectation of sex or romance is so genuinely important

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Everyone, regardless of identity, can benefit from learning about aromantic, asexual, and aspec experiences. They broaden our view of intimacy, showing that purpose can be found in countless ways beyond the traditional frameworks of romance and sex, creating space for everybody

[JOY @_AshJOY]

Asexuality and aromanticism have an incredible amount of political value that deserves to be acknowledged. With the way that amatonormativity is woven throughout various social structures, our experiences provide much needed perspective surrounding the nuance of connection