t

a whole lot of wild and a little bit of crazy

[Cleveland Browns @Browns]

THAT'S WHY YOU DRAFT A KICKER!!!!

[Governor Mike DeWine @GovMikeDeWine]

Also starting May 26th, we will announce the winner of a drawing of all those 17 years-old and under who are vaccinated. The winner will receive a full, four-year scholarship to our state universities.

We will do this every Wednesday, for five straight Wednesdays.

[Jeremy Kaplowitz @jeremysmiles]

i literally just fucking got that "honk if you're horny" is a pun

[elise @eliseannelee]

No stimulus check, no vaccine, just out here raw dogging the pandemic

[🤷🏽‍♀️ @phenomenallybri]

Honestly...any salary under $50,000 , for a job requiring a college degree, should be illegal

[Jen Grant @Jen_Grant13]

New concept: a fake ID but one that says that I’m under 26 so I can keep my health insurance

[courtney @pourtcroctor]

Everyone please retweet this so @MichelobULTRA, MY FAVORITE BEER, will send me a care package for my birthday🍺🎉🥳

[Paid Extra to Yell @bird_facts_]

Pandemic Day 25: I made bread :)

Day 95: I sure do miss my friends

....

Day 310: The White House appears to be under the control of a shirtless man in a Viking helmet

Day 330: Reddit’s coordinated attack on Wall Street is going as planned

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Babe are you ok you’re using a fork from home

[Mitch Meyers @m1tchmeyers]

I just love the confidence buying a lottery ticket gives me

[Did The Browns Win? @DidClevelandWin]

Yes. Yes we fucking did.

[🐶WOOF CLITZER🐶 @ESPNFrankie]

McDonald's pancakes don't even absorb syrup that's how you know they're made outta shoe insoles

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Bringing the same chipotle order I’ve had since high school into 2021

[♋️ @pgkeriaa]

am i the only girl who’s never returned something i’ve bought online? i just take the L & keep it moving😂?

[Brianna Chickenfry @BChickenfry]

I’m all for gender equality but I will never be shoveling a driveway thats for men