Changing Ways

We exist to eliminate men’s abusive and violent behaviours against women and children, and to eliminate other forms of gender-based violence.

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

@RolandKuehn @AnovaFuture Thx for being there and engaging in the conversation!

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

@fatimahmae @AndreVash @TothSusan Thx Fatimah- no it wasn’t recorded unfortunately. But stay tuned, this was the beginning of a series of dialogues!

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

And the panel is off and going! @TothSusan setting the scene with some context: 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment, 57% of whom by age of 17. What do you see your roles as allies, what is a good ally?

[Andre Vashist @AndreVash]

Proud to have opened up with love and courage tonight. I'm sorry for the harm I cause. I am thankful for the strength and resilience of women. I commit to taking new actions within my circle of influence to ensure women are heard and believed. #metoo @_ChangingWays https://t.co/Ks0SapntIH

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“There are about 30-40% men in this room. And that’s pretty good for this topic. More men need to step into the discomfort” and talk about sexual violence (John Swales)

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“Since #MeToo, I have been having different conversations with men. Biggest thing I hear is men are afraid. ‘I can’t talk to a girl at work anymore’. But I ask, is most important thing to talk about your fear? Aren’t we supposed to talk about the fear women have?” @AndreVash

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“I’ve failed (to step up) when women are being harassed online. When I wanted to change name of Paul Haggis Park because of his actions, the pushback I got, the threats, I got a small glimpse of what women face” @MohamedMOSalih

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“I can think of some relationships growing up when I should have done better. If any man doesn’t realize that, doesn’t see that, he has some thinking to do” @Healthmac #maleallyship

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“Teams are one of best ways to create that leadership that doesn’t allow intimidation”, Marshall from @WesternMustangs highlighting how we need to shift culture that condones violence by engaging men in sports.

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“We know the social determinants of health. What are the social determinants of violence? Most perpetrators are men. Violence is a men’s issue. But men are often ill equipped from engaging in this convo because of how we have been socialized. We have to unlearn” @jesse_helmer

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“There’s a big difference between being a supporter and being an ally. A supporter is sort of easy. Then there’s an ally- that’s harder. That’s taking action. I’m an ally in training, I’ve had to unlearn a lot” @jesse_helmer

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

“I can’t be trained to be a male ally. You have to start and try to be a male ally” @AndreVash sharing some vulnerabilty about a moment when he apologized for causing harm. That risk lead to connection and growth

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

Why is panel all men? “It’s a male issue. A few years ago, when coaching and being a dad, I thought I was doing enough. But then I found out it’s not just strangers committing violence. It’s men we know. We need to prepare our sons to act better” Coach Marshall @WesternMustangs

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

@MohamedMOSalih An ally knows when to “just shut up and listen, be ok with being wrong and being uncomfortable. Be ok with how people want you to respond rather than how you want to respond”.

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

@Healthmac “Ally is a term you earn by your actions, not by taking a course. Direct confrontation isn’t only the strategy, and often isn’t the best. Center the person who is being harassed, what do they need to feel safer?”

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

Countdown 2hrs- Looking forward to hearing from @AndreVash @MohamedMOSalih @jesse_helmer @Healthmac & Greg Marshall on how they approach male allyship. Thanks @TothSusan @LondonClubLtd @kingsatwestern for making this happen!

[Changing Ways @_ChangingWays]

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