Cédric

Let me grep you. #infosec and useless stuff. Using security buzzwords since 2005.

[Cédric @_CLX]

@PatriceAuffret @crodav Tu ne veux pas l'inviter ? J'organise un dîner....

[Hash Miser @H_Miser]

Entre 2018 et 2021 j’ai dépensé beaucoup d’énergie à tenter de lutter contre des individus malveillants qui ciblaient la France avec différents malware (Tinynuke, Pylocky, Varenyky). Aujourd’hui j’ai eu l’occasion de présenter mes travaux et mes frustrations durant @EsieaSecEdit

[Pierre Arlais @PierreArlais]

Désolé, c'est la fin de semaine ...(et bon weekend !)

[Cédric @_CLX]

@PatriceAuffret Je suis parti de l'ouest, enfin j'ai essayé 🤣

[Cédric @_CLX]

"En voyageant en TGV vous réduisez vos émissions de CO2 de 95%" peut-on lire dans le TGV. Il faudrait préciser que cela réduit aussi notre ponctualité de 95%. #tgv #retard

[Alexandre Dulaunoy @[email protected] @adulau]

Recapping the state of vendors' VPN appliances:

- They don't maintain their software
- They accept money from their customer for maintenance
- They don't provide patch or update for their customer
- Don't proactively review the code

Yet organisations question open source?

[Cédric @_CLX]

@lauriewired Yeah but that's JS, you can apply is-even on a string, your solution with modulus doesn't work 😬 ... And have you found the is-odd package that import is-even to return the negative ? 🤣🤣

[I Am Devloper @iamdevloper]

“I don’t get it” —PM after finding out they put a man on the moon without agile

[Cédric @_CLX]

@H_Miser Peut-être, je ne suis pas expert 😬 En l'occurrence ça venait d'une boîte indienne

[Cédric @_CLX]

Y a pas à dire, le prénom "Pinar" (Inde) j'ai du mal à m'y faire, ça me fait toujours sourire quand je reçois un email de "Pinar" 😂 #Franchouillard

[Gorafi Sports @GorafiSports]

Le chirurgien d’Antoine Dupont rassurant sur la capacité du joueur à regarder les demi-finales à la télé - https://t.co/nbHVJ0XqpP

[Cédric @_CLX]

@meansec Nice addition for criminals to better understand which country to target 🤣

[Cédric @_CLX]

I am in the train to Paris and I forgot to take my privacy screen filter. I feel naked. Help. 😬

[Cédric @_CLX]

Euh, il se passe quoi avec les hotels sur #Paris? je trouve rien à moins de 500€/nuit 🧐

[Cédric @_CLX]

It turns out I was right for quite some time, Splunk is no more Splunk, it's IBM 🤗 https://t.co/5Cxzo6yDNJ

[Cédric @_CLX]

@LogCraftIO And that's a requirement for ANSSI PDIS in France #ANSSI #PDIS

[LogCraft.io @LogCraftIO]

How to use version control to track changes to Splunk searches https://t.co/5ktipJ7W22 #Splunk #CyberSecurity #cybersecuritytips

[Santiago @svpino]

Scrum is a cancer.

I've been writing software for 25 years, and nothing renders a software team useless like Scrum does.

Some anecdotes:

1. They tried to convince me that Poker is a planning tool, not a game.

2. If you want to be more efficient, you must add process, not remove it. They had us attending the "ceremonies," a fancy name for a buttload of meetings: stand-ups, groomings, planning, retrospectives, and Scrum of Scrums. We spent more time talking than doing.

3. We prohibited laptops in meetings. We had to stand. We passed a ball around to keep everyone paying attention.

4. We spent more time estimating story points than writing software. Story points measure complexity, not time, but we had to decide how many story points fit in a sprint.

5. I had to use t-shirt sizes to estimate software.

6. We measured how much it cost to deliver one story point and then wrote contracts where clients paid for a package of "500 story points."

7. Management lost it when they found that 500 story points in one project weren't the same as 500 story points on another project. We had many meetings to fix this.

8. Imagine having a manager, a scrum master, a product owner, and a tech lead. You had to answer to all of them and none simultaneously.

9. We paid people who told us whether we were "burning down points" fast enough. Weren't story points about complexity instead of time? Never mind.

I believe in Agile, but this ain't agile.

We brought professional Scrum trainers. We paid people from our team to get certified. We tried Scrum this way and that other way. We spent years doing it.

The result was always the same: It didn't work.

Scrum is a cancer that will eat your development team. Scrum is not for developers; it's another tool for managers to feel they are in control.

But the best about Scrum are those who look you in the eye and tell you: "If it doesn't work for you, you are doing it wrong. Scrum is anything that works for your team."

Sure it is.

[Cédric @_CLX]

@nicastronaut SEC ... Someone Else Computer 🧐