these are my confessions🎵

✨microdosing chaos✨ tweets may be original or something I’ve heard before and just don’t remember lol

[Chris Murphy @christress]

my bitterly divorced grandparents who do not speak to each other are now sharing the same nursing home and don't know it yet... it's giving hijinks its giving sitcom it's giving farse it's giving laugh track

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@hungryghosts161 Don’t they have tasers for that

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@ultraniggadick @sensojax @ThatUnusMF @RoatansFinest I honestly thought their reply was funny

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@ThatUnusMF @sensojax @RoatansFinest wot in the mcfuckery is that thing

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@Keefler_Elf And this is his last tweet 👀

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@jbfan911 “On a scale of 1-10 rate your first experience with....”

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@AXE @Xbox that may have been a bit aggressive

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@AXE @Xbox maybe ppl aren’t into their car smelling like every middle school guy’s last resort to not stink after their second period gym class

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@jbfan911 Oh yeah same here 😉

[Soup @soupinthering]

murder podcasts are like “he ate her eyeballs and then saved her heart for later, and you can save too... with Honey-“

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

any suggestions?

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

My 2am anxiety brought me here
#innerdemonhours

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

got a zero which means I’m not toxic... but what if my toxic trait is acting like I’m not toxic

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@WholesomeMeme succ

[c0nc0rdance @c0nc0rdance]

@evie_evolving @hankgreen See you later, shoebags.

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

@chunkbardey yeah I usually end up shaking my hands around like a crazy person

[Soup @soupinthering]

hey not to be a bother but does anyone know what the fuck i’m supposed to do

[these are my confessions🎵 @_COATD_]

when an app offers an ad for more rewards and you decline it but it just plays an ad right after that anyway...

[Spac𝑒 @sadcrib]

mfs in new york be like “i take the train to school” ight harry potter