Daily Jokes

[Daily Jokes @_Daily_Jokes]

Girl, are your pants made of mirrors, cuz I can see myself inside them ;) #Sexualpickuplines

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Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them knowing it. (:

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*Nerd's phone rings* Jock: Who is that, your girlfriend? *everybody laughs* Nerd: No, it's yours. *silence*

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Are your pants made of mirrors, cuz I can see myself inside them ;)

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That girl is so fake, she has "Made in China" written on the back of her neck. -_-

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1-"Did you know that I'm a ninja?" 2-"No you're not, prove it" 1-"Did you see me do that?" 2-"Do what?" 1-"Exactly."

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Mother: Why the hell would you swallow the money I gave you?!?
Child: You said it was my lunch money... :'(

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My bed is always so much more comfy in the morning than at night...

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Do you wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke. Joke. Jooooookkkkkkeeeeeee. (:

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When I was little, I always prayed for a bike, then I realized God doesn't work that way...so I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.

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I wasn't that drunk! "Dude, you were in my closet yelling 'Where the fuck is Narnia?!?'"

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I wasn't that drunk! "Dude, you threw my hamster against the wall and yelled 'Go Pikachu!'"

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I dont need to flirt, I will simply seduce you with my awkwardness. (:

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Teacher: If I have seven oranges in this hand, and eight oranges in this hand, what do I have?
Student: Big hands...

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Dear math, I am not a therapist, so please solve your own problems.