Mel A.™

Sassy, yet professional.

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

Top 5 video games of all time (chronological order):

1) The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2) Resident Evil 4
3) Mass Effect 2
4) Assassin's Creed Brotherhood
5) Control

If you disagree, you're wrong. I'll be taking no questions.

[Dr. Laura Marie Grimes @DrLauraGrimes]

I know it's hot outside, but men please refrain from dressing in way that would cause your sisters in Christ to stumble.

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

"I don't want to polute the beginning with the drama of an ending."

I need to listen to my past lessons more often. Or at all, I guess.

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

I really just never get to be happy, huh? Cool. Awesome. Great.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Hamlet: I'm depressed.
Claudius: Hi depressed, I'm Dad!
Hamlet:
Claudius: Oh yeah your mother and I have some news.

[Josh Zilberberg @joshzilbs]

The fact that there's a code red means that the air quality has finally become so toxic that naturally, I've caught feelings for it. And historically speaking, anything I catch feelings for ghosts immediately so this will all be over soon. You're welcome

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

behind every hot girl there's a deep desire to slay the king of scotland and frame the servants for her own political gain

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

I'm honestly impressed that someone rode their capital bike share all the way to Germantown. That's, like, a solid 20 miles at minimum.

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

@iAhnieyahlate If my kid came home with ONE shoe fewer than they left my house with, I guess they only have one of that shoe now???? Tf? *Insert old lady "kids these days" nonsense here*

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

There is nothing I love more than a game that doesn't tie its achievements/trophies to difficulty level. There are plenty of things worth rewarding in a game that don't involve completing the game on Super Hard Extra Death Fuck You Difficulty.

[The West Wing Weekly @WestWingWeekly]

Happy Presidents’ Day.

[Kevin Sciretta @kevinsciretta]

If you're over 35, you're not allowed to say "vibes". You have to say "ambiance".

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

Say what you want about Hogwart's Legacy, and I totally get it, but YOU CAN PET THE CATS. 😭

[Alex Blechman @AlexBlechman]

Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus

[trash jones @jzux]

“can i have your advice?” it will be bad but absolutely

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

@StevSkabino Name this mythical place please!

[Mel A.™ @_ElectricElle]

Me: *starts applying in ernest to make a career change*
The Market: *flooded with actual qualified people who have just been laid off*
Me: 🙃

[trash jones @jzux]

“jesus died for your sins” ok well nobody asked him to do that

[Jenni @hashjenni]

notice how we say “girl” when excited and “man” when disappointed

[grace @brainsoupp_]

i love it when my pets sigh like what ails you my little unemployed freeloader

[DRE ⚡️ @DRESPITFACTS]

Just because you love me, doesn’t mean I feel loved by you. Let that sink in.