My boyfriend noticed Iād been quiet for a few days and didnāt pressure me to explain. He just started doing small things. He charged my phone when it was low. Filled my water bottle before bed. Sent me āIām hereā texts instead of āwhatās wrongā texts. One night, I finally broke down and told him everything Iād been holding in, and he didnāt interrupt me once. He didnāt try to fix it. He didnāt make it about himself. He just held my hand and listened.
A week later, nothing had changed between us. He didnāt treat me like I was fragile. He didnāt bring it up to use against me. He just loved me the same, steady and normal.
Thatās when I realized real love isnāt loud. Itās safe. It doesnāt rush you. It doesnāt punish you for being human. It stays.
Sleeping together is Not love.
Going on dates is NOT love.
Talking 24/7 NOT love.
Laying up is NOT love.
Love is someone seeing the absolute worst side of you & still loving you the same.
It's someone making stuff happen for you when you can't. It's someone holding you & calming you down while you're pouring your eyes out. It's someone voicing all the good things about you when all you see is the bad. It's someone making sure you're okay, someone praying for you every day & night.
It's someone that makes you laugh smile when you feel down.
Ask your partner how they slept, how their day was, about work, what's on their mind, why they've been quiet, why they are being sensitive, what they'd like to eat, and where they'd like to go; make it a habit. Never let them feel unseen, unheard, or ignored.
If your partner is still bringin up old stuff , maybe itās time to sit down & talk to them about it. cause that clearly means its stuck in their head, & its been heavy on their heart. Just as bad as u want them to forget, they want to forget it 10x more REASSURE them
If youāre a beautiful woman who is also kind-hearted, generous and empathetic you MUST master the art of gatekeeping yourself.
Your time, energy and resources are not a food pantry. you need to vet your acquaintances like madt!
ngl my next relationship we're having a monthly sit down. just sit and discuss us..how things are going, what we can do to develop our relationship more. you'll be surprised at what just a lil communication can do for any relationship
Nothing will ruin a relationship for me faster than watching your partner showing up for other people in a way they don't show up for you. You have the capacity, just not for our relationship? no thanks.
Goes for friendship too!
My husband hugged me from behind and said "thank you so much for everything you did today." Then kissed me. My toddler then walked up, hugged me from behind and said "thank you for making me soup mama." Then kissed my arm. YOUR CHILDREN SEE EVERYTHING.
If you have no kids. Do it right. Find a good man. Get MARRIED. Enjoy your marriage for at least a year. Build your foundation. THEN have a baby. Donāt rush into motherhood unprepared. You and your child deserve better.