You ask people in DC to organize a protest and they’ll have 100,000 people marching in the streets by tomorrow. Quick and efficient!
Ask people in DC to do some manual labor like shovel their own sidewalks or cars? Motherfuckers turn into Hellen Keller 😂
Wow you run several miles a day? That’s so impressive!
“I really just do it for the Runners high. Makes me feel great in the mornings”
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was talking to a CRACKHEAD
Trump painting the wall black because it gets “hot in the sun” is so good because it’s an idea a 5th grader would have.
Excited for next week when he decides to cover the wall in corduroy or jeans because they also “feel hot in the sun”
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said the entire southern border wall will be painted black, so it will get hot in the sun and "make it even harder for people to climb."
"That is specifically at the request of the president." https://t.co/fDAt90dmk6
Ngl I’ve had a pretty shitty day. Just had another network turn down my idea for a spinoff show called “Love is Blind AND on the Spectrum” That’s the third studio this week! What’s not clicking??
If we haven’t talked in years and I start liking your Insta posts it means that I’m about to post for the first time in a while and I expect you to return the favor.
But if you forget to like my post… you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity
*trying to order food when it’s raining*
Uber Eats: We know it’s raining there so we assigned your order to a woman on a bike and she’s PREGNANT! We can’t afford to pay her so PLEASE TIP OR SHE’ll DIE! And yes, your food will be WET!
I’ll be out with my girl and everything’s cool but the second we reach a crowded area she turns into Orlando Brown from Max Keeble's Big Move.
Looking at me like
I swear I snooze my IPhone alarm one time and outta nowhere like 6 other alarms show up and start going off every 2 minutes like some sorta fucked up magic trick
Can’t believe Kanye of all people had his wife up there naked for the whole world to see! What’s next? She drops a sex tape with Ray J or something? Have some class
Can someone tell me if this is fake or is Kamala really built like KD and I just never noticed?
If it is real then I fully believe the boozing allegations. Those arms are designed to reach top shelf liquor