Not Lauren Silverman

Pretend girlfriend (professional #Beard) & surrogate mum for #gaydads Simon Cowell & Andrew Silverman #VERYwellpaid! #pinkdollar #gaymafia *parody*

[Gay Dads @GayDads_]

#GayDad Simon Cowell's surrogate son Eric by bro Nick with mum Lauren https://t.co/JdvsbosU83 @DailyMailCeleb

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

RT @CelebGayCouple: “RT @SimonCowell: Looks familiar?” hehe lol!

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@Beard_Club @DailyMailCeleb That's right!!! (not joking)

[Beard Club @Beard_Club]

Cowell panics @#SandyLane, hides bf Paul, makes #Beard/surrogate mum WORK! http://t.co/xKDTxuF54d @DailyMailCeleb

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

Ah, the life of a professional Beard! To date, that's 2 kids for 3 gay men! Livin the life! #PinkDollar #GayMafia

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

Jesus Christ - the hoops I have to jump through! ..this time, for a Barbados holiday with a pair of old queens !

[Sydneynian @BLLTR]

@_LSilverman @Beard_Club @DailyMailCeleb I see..well whatever you do, do it with honour. .be a honourable wh*re if that's what you mean

[Sydneynian @BLLTR]

@_LSilverman @Beard_Club @DailyMailCeleb no sex needed to be a wh*re! no p*ssy needed to be a b*tch. Real humans need heart. Thats all !

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@BLLTR @Beard_Club @DailyMailCeleb no sex - he's not 'that way' inclined..

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@BLLTR @Beard_Club @DailyMailCeleb er.. not my 'partner' - just pays me to appear that way..

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

Another mediterranean PR stunt photo shoot coming up soon on Slipstream with Paul & Simon!

[Beard Club @Beard_Club]

Gaydad Cowell’s weird surrogate baby: looks like gay partner Paul Mckenna! http://t.co/UWUNc8V05k @DailyMailCeleb

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

OMG! It's a nasty job - but some #Beard's gotta do it! http://t.co/g7ShmrIEHs @DailyMailCeleb #pinkdollar

[Celebrity Gay Couple @CelebGayCouple]

Simon Cowell: "gay for Paul Mckenna, borrowed gay friend Harold's #Beard Lauren for child" http://t.co/zLIIdGzKYC @MailOnline” #gaydads

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@MaxCliffordPR @StraightSimon Mr Clifford, I would NEVER EVER do that with any gay guy - I know where it's been!

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@StraightSimon: http://t.co/8S4tJDSQJS - not THAT well-paid! SHOULD be in NY, looking after my son from my PREVIOUS beard employment!

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

@GayFactorUSA @MailOnline YUK!! Thank bloody god he pays well! #WasntInTheBeardContract

[Gay Factor USA @GayFactorUSA]

Simon Cowell's 'man's bottom-kissing' technique on #Beard at #Ldn 'Sing' premier http://t.co/fSI9uTlgdD @MailOnline

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

RT @GayMafia_: "RT @Patrick_Fogerty: @Beard_Club @MailOnline Isn't that Cam from Modern Family?” - #YES! #lofl!

[Not Lauren Silverman @_LSilverman]

ARGH!! ..not JUST the fagbreath - I know for a fact those lips were just kissing boyfriend Paul Mckenna's bottom!