Lyss

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

a man with a 9-5 like, it’s hot… in his little cubicle all day no time to behave nefariously, maybe he plays pickup basketball after work with the lads.. it’s a fantasy frankly

[grant🪐 @grantmeaglizzy]

i will be partying tomorrow but NOT in celebration of america

i will however be celebrating whoever tf invented the hotdog

[ruby @minorlyswift]

girls say they’re broke then all the sudden here comes that ticketmaster transaction

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

idrgaf if a movie is “good” or “bad” when i’m seeing in in theaters. if there’s a big ass bucket of popcorn in my hands, i am having the time of my life no matter what

[trash jones @jzux]

one thing about me is i think closer by the chainsmokers is one of the best songs in the world. absolute banger, emotionally devastating. makes me want to run through a wall

[carly @notcarlylol]

iCarly (2007)

[fif @fiorela4193]

i’m sorry but “i can’t go on our date because i just paid taxes” is absolutely the funniest thing a man has ever said to me. i had to pull over because i’m sitting in my car laughing so hard.

[lana del slay @lanadelslayee]

sluttiest thing a man can do is love and cherish his cat

[cory snearowski @corysnearowski]

Not sure what nepo is but I was a jaundice baby

[twilight renaissance | fanpage @twilightreborn]

“why are you
dressed like that?” “like what?”

[Stacey Harkey @StaceyHarkey]

Kiss, Marry, Kill: Costco Edition
-The $1.50 Hotdogs
-The $5 Rotisserie Chicken
-Free Samples

[THE TWILIGHT SAGA 🍎 @Twilight]

i don’t want to BeReal i want to BeLoca

[Saddington 3 (in theaters) @2Saddington]

coming soon

[FakeNewsNetwork @fakenewsnwork]

BREAKING NEWS: After receiving millions of "thoughts and prayers" the queen has grown too powerful and is now terrorizing downtown London. She is currently nesting on top of Big Ben as she awaits the blood moon to feast again

[Danny Murphy @kashmeredanny]

me at a restaurant I didn’t want to go to after saying “im literally down for wherever”

[Eileen Entertainment @eileensfloral]

pink! 💗

[retroarchetype.bsky.social @RetroArchetype]

Me explaining military time: So it goes up to 24 and then it starts again from the beginning
Leonardo DiCaprio: Sounds perfect.