sarah k

“you look like the kinda girl to get a 24 on the ACT” -random kid at pool

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

Things to do today:

1) Meat
2) Soccer

[garth @garbagecoven]

a single sour patch kid would kill a pilgrim instantly

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

my little sister just said “let me hit your juul and i won’t tell mom” and i’ve never felt so threatened

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

@netflix put big time rush on netflix or else 😤💅🏼

[notgivenchyass (Taylor’s Version) @notgivenchyass]

am i just high or is this actually the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

[Sterling @SterlingOtting]

Guys really scared to moan? I be in my girls ear like

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

yeah sex is cool but have you ever been double bounced on a trampoline?

[Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime]

[invention of fish net stockings]

fisherman 1: Help! I got caught in the fish net!

fisherman 2: is it just me or is dave looking a little ... hot?

fisherman 3: no dave is definitely being hot rn

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

me when my friends ask me to go out on a weeknight

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

anybody wanna tell him it’s solar powered or should i

[hermauhn F baby and the f is for go and find out @HermauhnF]

Anybody ever realize that calculator batters strong as a mf🤔 ..... I straight up been usin the same calculator for 8 years. make that make sense

[Andy Strickland @andystrickland]

Goaltender Jonathan "Jack" Williams named among players to watch for 2019 #NHL draft @aaablues https://t.co/fulriOx6jI via @NHL

[Abby Burke @abbyburke123]

It’s spooky szn

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

@dalton1495 who are you

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

how come guys can walk around with their shirts off and it’s fine but the second i do it someone calls the cops

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

someone just said to me “the declaration of independence isn’t real it’s just in that movie” and i don’t know if i should break the news or not

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

list of things to do today:

-get skinny
-learn how to do math
-

[sarah k @_M_Wazowski_]

@CarsonSte13 the cops don’t pay attention to me anymore. they already got my ass once they wouldn’t dare hit me again