I'm such a Dorothy

*Drives off into sunset*
*turns around because forgot phone*

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Never leaving this airbnb

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

How to clean up glitter:
1) Burn down your house.
2) Move.
3) The glitter followed you. There is no escape.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@TarynMania but not even Hitler's "own" because, well, you know. Both mentalities are fucked for leadership, but one is much more fucked than the other and comparing the two may have made her very upset and much less willing to accept the facts.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@TarynMania Okay, but purposefully rounding groups of people and torturing/gassing them isn't *exactly* the same as just not sending supplies to them. He had more of a "care for your own" mentality. Hitler was more of "only my own can live everyone else must die/be tortured"

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

"Can we buy gushers?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because it’s sugary garbage. You'll get enough of that on Halloween"
"But Gushers sugar isn't halloween candy sugar, it's the same fruit as sugar"
"No"
"Yes. Says so on the bag, 'natural fruit flavors'"
"Well they’re lying"
"I think YOURE lying"

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Another kids trash is another kids treasure haha no but seriously, tell your kids to pick up their shit, my 3 yr old found a gushers wrapper on the playground and won’t let it go of it

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Oh great she somehow snuck it home and her older sister found it and is furious that she got gushers and she didnt

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@SadistMom Gross.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Your entire life is just gaps between thinking about saxophones and you've just opened a new chapter.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@sadistmom never a more accurate handle.

[Brad Paisley @BradPaisley]

Happy New years eve eve!Unless your name is Eve,then Happy New Years Eve Eve, Eve.Unless your name is Steve.& Happy New Years Eve Eve,Steve.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@InToMyRealm @RuxtonYoung He was trying to explain grammar to you. Obviously, you fail to understand any such thing

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Haha, this is actually depressingly accurate.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

Best. Idea. Ever. Let's do it again sometime. RT @InToMyRealm: @_McUsername I think we need to trade twitter accounts. We can DM passwords.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@InToMyRealm disgusting.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@InToMyRealm never. Wait, what? I mean of course I will.

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@InToMyRealm @DrLect0r you sound like you're mocking him lmao

[Nightmare @DrLect0r]

@InToMyRealm Wow. I'm guessing you and @_McUsername were having a douche off or something?

[I'm such a Dorothy @_McUsername]

@InToMyRealm that is amazing. I should tweet for you more often.

[is awesome. @RuxtonYoung]

Stopped by the store with @_McUsername to get some beer and wow! I am totally buying this instead of the usual heineken