honestly we are way too hard on ourselves for not knowing things earlier, but truth is some lessons only make sense after u live through them. back then u made choices with what u knew, what u felt, and what u could handle. that was not weakness, that was learning.
life got no manual. we grow by messing up, trusting wrong ppl, taking paths that do not work. later it looks obvious, but it was not obvious then. that is how time teaches.
forgiving urself does not mean everything was ok. it means u accept u were human, u tried, and u kept going. that matters more than getting it perfect.