Stuff Moms Say

Things Moms Think

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

@MomCaveTV thanks ladies!

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

The holidays always remind me of how grateful I am that prohibition is over.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Contest extended! Win a copy of The Wonderful Truth About Santa https://t.co/4V2CgcywJe

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

If a jackass kid at school told your kid about Santa, you need this book. You will cry. https://t.co/uYMOk57a8D

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

True story.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Sundays are for cleaning and vodka.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Breakfast for dinner is code for "Mommy's too tired to give a shit."

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

I'm trying to cut calories so I'm replacing at least one meal a day with chardonnay.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

People without kids giving out parenting advice. https://t.co/LPCND4Hsdz

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

It's taking every bit of restraint not to show this to my kids and say this is what happens with too much sugar. https://t.co/sx0IuS372D

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Nurse: "What's your third child's birthday?"
Me: "Spring two thousand something."

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Parent at school: Would you like to join the PTO?
Me: I actually only leave the house for food sorry.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Trying to look like a competent adult on back-to-school night. https://t.co/qiAKDZu1Hy

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Me putting away the clothes that don't fit the baby anymore. https://t.co/GvZ276k1dz

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

All of my enemies have been forged in the school drop-off and pick-up line.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

I'm too tired to care about celebrities.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

If this is you...(((hugs)))

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

*stays up with kid until 1AM*
*kid falls asleep*
*parent can't fall asleep until 3AM*
*kid wakes up at 4AM*
*repeat*

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

If you say your kid is a good sleeper out loud, life will take it from you.

[Stuff Moms Say @_StuffMomsSay]

Me: Goodnight kids!
*opens bedside drawer*