Madison Stalker

Awkward since ‘93. Proficient in 3 languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm. Professional Stew, Amateur cheese enthusiast. @bravotv BDSY: S1⛵️

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Sometimes I wonder if this is all happening because I didn’t forward that one picture to 10 friends in the 6th grade...

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

I’m ready to go back to being 16 and only having to worry about exams and if a specific person read my Facebook status.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Florida leads 2-0. Vegas leads 2-0. Now, THIS is the shit show our country needs for a potential Stanley Cup Championship.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

I keep imagining having “content creator” parents - and thanking my dad’s sperm, that I have Marshall.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

@CosmicallyChloe Thank you.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Is Mr. Waternoose III from Monsters Inc supposed to be Harvey Weinstein?

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Me to Marshall: “do you miss the nagging of your oldest child asking you ‘are we there yet’ or the deafening silence of your youngest asking absolutely nothing because he’s entranced by his phone?”

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Remember how kids used to take out their frustrations during PE dodgeball? Now, they just do it on multiple social media platforms.

[Kate Chastain @Kate_Chastain]

Kathy Hilton could yell and scream at me awful things while stomping on my own glasses and I would absolutely love every single minute of it and probably like her even more #RHOBH

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

This is my official petition to cast @ElaineHendrix as Cruella de Vil

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

“Where did you get your actual eyes from” - Ross

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Does anyone else get overly self conscious about their computer cleanliness at airports or are you normal.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

I’m sorry but if you don’t walk around the movie theater eating popcorn with your tongue until your ass is in your seat, you’re doing it wrong.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

#madisonstalker #bachelorvote I know I’m not there, but she’s trying to find love.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Is this why Adam Levine was using a pay phone, trying to “go home”?

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

I feel like Mike Wazowski at the beginning of Monsters University every day.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Thank PRODUCERS for not putting me on this season of BDSY. I would’ve gotten in a LOT of trouble 😈 #BelowDeckSailingYacht

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

I need to stop drunk going on Raya. Drunk me is way too down for some not hot guy/girl shit.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

@TheCourtshipUSA @peacockTV I’m sick of modern dating. I want to be courted. *volunteers as tribute for next season*

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Has anyone else thought about why people associate fireworks with sex? They both start or slow with a couple bangs to get you going. Then during the finale, it’s all *boom boom bang bang pow pow* I’m done.

[Madison Stalker @_TheMadStalker]

Ideal day:

Sunrise boat session/wakeboarding
Brunch
Afternoon putt putt (top golf acceptable substitution)
Hockey game
Mario Party with tacos and beers in bed