Hilarious Tweets! →

same as yours.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let's get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

[Hilarious Tweets! → @_WildBabe]

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.