Uri

#UriNation

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Quarentine, Day 11: Dear Abigail,
I have been inside this cabin for far too long. Mother is desperate for a whiskey. I slapped her and said "Quarentine". Things are dire.
Sincerely, Uri.
P.S. send Whiskey

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Quarentine day 9: Dear Abigail, the parlor is no longer open and Mother has locked herself in her bedroom. I've decided to stand outside and watch the horses prance around in the fields as I sip on what remains of my Steel Reserve. Sincerely, Uri.
P.S. send toilet paper

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

He rode into town on his stallion, shirtless as his chest hair glistened in the sun while a negro followed him singing hymns the Lord taught him.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

The world seizes to exist when I ejaculate inside a relative, Rebecca. So yes this family reunion is very important to me.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

I was just thinking of the time I ejaculated inside my cousin Brenda. Get me some tissue, Rebecca. I'm gonna watch The Notebook for the 50th time.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Uri has tweeted.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Global warming would never compare to the importance of a strong, hard penis penetrating a bored housewife as she sits on a folding ladder while semen is being pumped directly into her vagina as her husband sits at a desk contemplating suicide.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

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[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

For the past month Uri has been on horseback riding through the Kentucky countryside searching for underage high school cheerleaders to caress as his sweaty hairy chest glistened under the Rebel Sun.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

If your pantaloons don't smell like uncooked hot dogs dipped in tuna fish then don't bother coming home tonight, Rebecca. Rent is due tomorrow.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

@hautemilf Im spending my nights handing Rebecca towels drenched in semen

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

@PastaVersaucy You're always thinking of me

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

The night is calm, Rebecca. The silence is deafening yet soothing. Fetch me my sock, I wish to ejaculate in it.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

@sarah1mc I love coming home to you. God bless

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Big breasted pale white bitch strutting on the western concrete under the sky that God provided. Let your fish flaps spread open its warmth and suffocate us until we are no more.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

"I want to know what you look like sucking your husbands dick." said Jesus as he direct messaged his Twitter crush.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

Fetch me my scented candle, Rebecca. I'm about to direct message my Twittercrush.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

When Uri reads his tweets out loud

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

I wish I was a skinny blonde teen with big titties so I can make out with other skinny blonde teens with big titties under the pale moonlight.

[Uri @_ZeRoyalBaumer_]

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