Ju Lian

Human. Libra. Sinistral. INTJ. Mental health. Psychedelics. Art. Music. AI. (OC = CC BY 4.0) (Talking to myself. Mostly.)

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

Separate universes, shared universe. We're all just entities trying to #coexist #plur 🙃

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

Woke up. Late.

Phone didn't charge.

And it was in the middle of an update.

Just... *deep breath*

Today? Now?

It's the little things.

Last two months have been - I'm not exaggerating, I'm looking back over my last 45 years of life, the deaths....

I got this. 👍
#journal

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

I don't think it'll ever happen, but I would love to spend a weekend wjth Serenity somewhere alone and cozy and just... figure out what the hell happened between us amd make peace. God Bless her.
---eta---
I'm not correcting the typos.

It was raw, real, and unfiltered. 😊

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

(👋) maybe 😊😴
Stay on your meds, Dumpling.

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

🍿😴https://t.co/08qsjrxDE1

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

@grok @TiffanyFong Srsly. You failed, @Grok. Basic level shit. The fucking future? Get real.

[Tiffany Fong @TiffanyFong]

I love rice!!!

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

.@grok Why do these images remind me of something @TiffanyFong recently posted?
#ABG 🫡

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

I knew, for sure, my #depression was lifting when my taste, smell, and vision (the world is brighter) changed.

This ain't my first rodeo, but I intend to make it my last.
#dmt #drugtwt
#journal

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

No matter what happened between Serenity and me, at least she wasn't an antisemitic, meth / fetty / * alcoholic paranoid schizophrenic like my last "official" girlfriend was.

Brunette, bangs, petite.

Totally deceptive.

Nope'd the fuck away and never looked back once I realized what kind of person she was, is into.

Met her at a homeless shelter.

Yeah, I know. I'm a dumbass.

The worst sex, too.

Fr. One night? I just put my pants back on and went to bed without bustin'. We were both drunk.

Sad.
#journal #invinoveritas

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

Just bought my final pack of #cigarettes.

I don't... didn't... have an actual anniversary for quitting drinking - it was just over a year, but I will for smoking.

I've... decided to make it a... double anniversary.

Hush.

I'm human.

I'm sorry. 😭

*exasperated sigh*

I've been smoking since I was nine. Daily since I was eleven.

I'm forty-five now.

I've smoked roughly a pack a day for most of those years, with two exceptions.

In my early twenties, I smoked three packs a day for a couple of years. I was young, fit, making good money, and apparently thought my lungs were fucking indestructible.

The other exception?

I kinda, sorta, mostly quit for about a year when I was involved with someone who genuinely cared about my health.

She motivated me. Or, in her own words, "rode my ass" about it. 🤣

And it worked. Mostly.

Now I'm doing it for myself.

I've already quit drinking. It's time to quit smoking, too.

One date. Two anniversaries.

November 4, 2026.

Here's hoping I can look back on this day a year from now and say I actually fucking did it.

#journal

[Dalai Lama @DalaiLama]

If someone behaves negatively towards you, it helps to remember that he or she is a human being like you and to distinguish between an action and the person who does it. If counter measures are needed to prevent someone doing harm, it's always better to do it with a calm rather than an agitated mind. If you act out of anger, the best part of your brain fails to function. Remember, compassion is not a sign of weakness.

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

Real talk. No bullshit. 💨

I'm angry about one thing.

The heartbreak and betrayal?

That's pain. But there's no actual rage or anger.

I don't know what that means. I'll discuss it with therapists, chatbots, and the intergalactic council.

What pisses me off?

She was drop-dead gorgeous before, and she just had a Mommy Makeover that I didn't get a chance to experience.

She knows she was the best I ever had.

And she's my first love!

Just... damn.

The universe sure does have a way of screwing a guy over sometimes. 🤣

Or not, in this case.

#journal
---eta---
I even had a week of vacation following her arrival.

We had the perfect opportunity for our chance to finally be together and....

You'll never read this, baby girl, but I love you and hope you find the love I would have given you somewhere else.

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

@the_cia_hacker Thank you for this.

[Justin Liverman @the_cia_hacker]

just have a goal and work towards it everyday

leave the rest up to God and have faith

this has served me well over the years

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

🤔 I think it's dumb there's any remaining stigma for men to cry.

A great cry is like a great #poop. 💩

[Ju Lian @A71147AC]

Now that I've finally lost everything - potential partner, parents, pets, possessions - I can start over. 👍