crabby steingrumpy

she/her/they

forever a whitford, nary a cooper

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

🎶 Now I ain't sayin' she a grave digger, but... 🎶

... she does work super late at night and comes home in the morning absolutely COVERED in dirt.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

🔔🔔🔔

[Tyreke Juaquin Baker @TyrekeBakerTBT]

Update from inside the Oklahoma State Capitol.

The crowd is growing larger and louder as the wait on @GovStitt to grant Jones clemency. #FreeJuliusJones @TheBlackTimesOK

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

This is a tweet about a thing I don't like that other people do. Wah wah wahhhhhhhh.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

@BardZaku He says "mrrrrowww" ❤️

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

My cat's 17th birthday is so important, I want to put it on Twitter. ❤️ Happy birthday, Toasty!

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Due to popular demand, more Toasty pics.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

I'm happy Trump is out of office. I'm happy for my trans cousin, I'm happy for my sister's Muslim partner, I'm happy for my mom whose ability to get insurance will remain intact, I'm happy that increased vaccination might mean I can hug my mom again someday.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Going through my old tweets and this made me genuinely laugh so hard. #SelfLove

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

I feel like if my parents had danced instead of shouted, I'd still be as fucked up as I am now but much better at moonwalking.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

For my first act as President of the United States, I am raising the legal age of sexual consent to 43 years old. Thank you, and gerb blers amerrka.

[Virgo's Groove Hive, PhD @T_dot_Lee_PhD]

Y'all, people know that Joe Biden isn't some magical savior. We know there's still work to be done. Accountability, all of that.

But today, people get to be happy *just* because trump is gone.

This has been ROUGH. Seeing him leave is reason to celebrate.

Let folks have that.

[Beytwicé @lotoysrus]

Why y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

#FishDad

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

You ever look at your face in the mirror at the end of the day and just see a hyper-realistic Squidward?

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

THIS JUST IN: Wearing a mask will make not only YOUR dick bigger, but will ALSO make the dicks of those around you smaller. #WearAMask

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Mitch McConnell should have known better than to put on the Marvolo family ring. He knew it was a horcrux, but he just couldn't help himself.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

The minute birds grow hands, it's all over for you bitches.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Me, watching bread week on #GreatBritishBakeShow:

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Pence was confused when Harris talked about having a mother, as he was born from asexual reproduction in the form of a lizard egg and incubated under a heat lamp for 4 months until the planets were in the right position.

[crabby steingrumpy @AbbyNormal92]

Whoa, I just looked at Twitter for the first time in 4 years. What'd I miss?