Babygirl, I hope your next man chooses you loudly, loves you intentionally, and makes you feel so secure that you never have to question where you stand in his life.
In life, someone will come along and make you feel loved, as if you alone are enough.
But later on, as time passes, it change in an instant. They suddenly grow cold, and the love is gone.
at some point, you really have to tell yourself "this isn't an experience i want to keep having" and stop entertaining things that don't benefit you in any way or form.
I thought staying would make you realize how deeply I loved you, but instead, it fed your ego and made you feel like you could disrespect me without ever losing me. I confused loyalty with tolerating things I never deserved.
You call her toxic now, but you met her when she was kind, open, and trusting. She became guarded because you kept hurting her, reactive because you kept crossing lines, and tired because she kept choosing you while you chose yourself. That wasn’t toxicity. That was damage.
Losing a person that you loved so much is like losing a piece of your own soul. The person whom you thought had made your life complete has turned out to be the reason of destroying everything that you loved.
You need to give yourself a lot of time to heal a wound that is too big to be handled by anyone except you. Take your time to move on.
One thing I've realized is that, you don't need to vent to your friends about everything that you're going through. Sometimes it's okay to just pray about it and move on. Let it be between you and God.
I cried alone, vented alone, calmed my anxiety attacks alone, felt alone, advised myself alone, spend time alone. No one lived my life, nor cried my tears, so no one has the right to judge my way of being.