ABInBevCares

We are an unstoppable war machine hell bent on destroying variety in beer and achieving total market domination. We swim in money, Scrooge McDuck-style.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@TheRealTABC why do yall carry so many guns? I mean you have SO MANY. Like youre planning on enforcing liquor laws even after the apocalypse

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@TheRealTABC I suppose we could just steal yours.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@TheRealTABC WTF WE WANT A KUBOTA

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@TheRealTABC It was fun while it lasted, but we can't hang out with you any more.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

We did & still do want people to stay angry, and voice their opinions about HB602, to their legislature and to the businesses they frequent.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

Also, sorry for accidentally trolling everyone. Our intention was to troll AB Inbev, not folks like @brockwagner and @rcrocker.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@GunsandTacos They said we bore too similar of a resemblance to the real deal. We were like "ABInBev doesn't CARE how is that too real?"

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

Bud Light: the official beer of beating your spouse!

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

*taps @GunsandTacos on shoulder*

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

We're back, now with a more realistic name.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

The difference is drinkability!

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@cathywonderful WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE SO ANGRY ABOUT http://www.brewtiful.com/?p=252 GOSH

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

We're here actually trying to connect with people, while @AB_Cares is saving dolphins. Not sure what that has to do with beer but cool.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

That and we constantly live in the shadow of @AB_Cares.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

Sorry we lost our cool there. It's just a lot of pressure dealing with all this animosity from people who hate our success.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

@TheRealTABC (fistbump) no respect from these animals.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

*pauses jokes* @AB_Cares is the REAL twitter account of Anhueser-Busch. Tell them what you think about #HB602 *resumes jokes*

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

I'm gonna go cry on this big pile of money. THANKS A LOT.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

OH and apparently, we're "redundant" according to corporate because they already have an account! @AB_Cares! Fuck everything.

[ABInBevCares @ABInBevSucks]

You know what? We wanted to listen, but you guys are being super mean. Do you think this is easy? Being the #1 beer company in the world?