Alan Barns

Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
A mature, young man with a somewhat muddled idea about age, perhaps I can put a smile on your face now & again

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

@marktingley He was born in Tottenham, London, lived his adult life in Hertfordshire & then retired to Suffolk, near to Norfolk for his golden years.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

Every day I had above ground was a great day but sadly they have all been used up. Do me a favour, keep on re-tweeting my old tweets to bring smiles & laughter in to the world & remember that no one gets out alive so don't take life too seriously.
Alan 😊

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

@marktingley He left us on 22nd December. He passed away as he wanted to, which was at home with his wife holding his hand. You'll be happy to know he wrote laughter into his funeral service to bring smiles rather than tears to our faces.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

@marktingley Thanks but not really, Alan has died & a come back tour, as much as he lived for an audience can't be done. However, he was here for 86 years & that's what counts 😎 ❤️

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

@marktingley Thank you Mark. Quick answer to your question - NO! { I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then realise that dying will also be normal for my age at some point.} Keep safe mate.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

@marktingley Thank you Mark. Quick answer to your question - NO! { I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then realise that dying will also be normal for my age at some point.} Keep safe mate.

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #queenofswords #legacyofthedivine

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #thesun #peanuts #snoopy

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #laotzu

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

My neighbor obviously doesn't watch porn, she asked me to fix her sink 2 hours ago and I'm still fixing her sink.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…

[John Mitchell @OneJohnMitchell]

Sometimes being young and stupid gives way to being old and stupid

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #witchestarot #nineofwands

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #maryeltarot #eightofcups

[Vanessa Barns Tarot @VanessaBarns]

Please :) Share ☑ Like ☑ Comment ☑ Retweet ☑ https://t.co/eo95p4xvut #tarot #quotes #tenofcoins #deviantmoon #family

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

I don't mean to brag but I'm helping a Nigerian Prince with a pretty serious financial matter. I can't really talk about it.

[Alan Barns @ABodger]

I've pre-planned my funeral to include a 32 minute montage of the times I've accidentally waved hello to someone waving to someone behind me.