Death Guy

Tweets from a guy who is perpetually moments from death. Created by @pleatedjeans
Tweet contributors: @LaRosaKnows and @apreacher

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

I am innocent. #RIPTroyDavis

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

how hard could snake charming really be?

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

I am the Chuck Testa meme.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

psyched about my duel with Aaron Burr today.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Da big boss just said, "It's curtains for you." Oh boy! I could use new curtains!

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

so bummed. Judas just betrayed me.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

bored. think I'll go fuck with the Wu-Tang Clan.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

I wonder what this giant trash compactor looks like close up.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

First day in prison, all I have to do is beat up the toughest dude I see. Hmm... that guard over there looks pretty tough.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

nice! my new shoes came with a prize inside. Something called silica gel...sounds delicious!

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

I'm a big boy...Finally gonna take those training wheels off my bike.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Gonna ask the boss for a promotion. I'm sick of only being an assistant Highlander.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

The Amazon tribe greeted me with open arms. Sitting in their hot tub having a nice soak…the carrots & celery are gonna be great for my skin!

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

#FF @bestworstadvice @pleatedjeans @thetweetofgod @FiWoProblems and this new guy I just met, David Koresh

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

"this is not a step." LOL, okay ladder, whatever you say.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Getting sushi for the first time. Just ordered the seppuku.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Last day on the police force. Really gonna miss this place.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Doctor is going to tell Me and @HenryVIII the sex of our baby today! Really hope it's a boy...

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

About to take my kitty to the vet...just gotta get her in the crate.

[Death Guy @AboutToDie_Guy]

Some peasants just took the Bastille. Marie and I are going to stay in our chateau and wait it out. via @ziggycurrans