Dan Szymanski

Cheeseburger enthusiast. Always looking for a comfortable pair of socks.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Happy Bobby Bonilla Deferral Day: Bonilla is set to collect another $1.193 million from the New York Mets today, as he will each July 1st through the year 2035.

[SportsGully @thesportsgully]

All 3 host nations have reached round of 32!✅✅

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@PeteThamel Can it be a violation of the CBA if dude's not part of the union?

[offseason Nate @capsf1sh]

“Carter Hart is actually a good goalie you sissys just hate him cause of the wjc case”

this is what an above average Carter Hart performance looks like btw:

[Tom Brennan @Brennanator]

“Liz Lemon, this is Dan Houseman.”
“It’s Danhausen.”
“Whatever his name is, I gave him 5 dollars to curse Martin Lawrence in 1996 and I’ve been on top ever since”

[Lesbian @MaddiesALesbian]

Somebody on Reddit pointed out that the expansion team’s inaugural logos aren’t made using the same template and now I’m going fucking crazy why would they do this 😭

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@Ace109610 Every single wrestler should be the good guy in their mind.

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@JoeyJetAvalon I had a wrestler reach out to me about doing art for them. Never has a job shot up my priority list faster.

[cat @pens0404]

rules they will never add to the nhl but should because it’s funny:

1) if you can pull a goalie for an extra attacker, you should be able to pull an attacker for an extra goalie

end of list

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@amyy_claire Everything about this administration sucks

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@MarquesEversoll Dani Dennis-Sutton. DDS. Nickname has to be The Dentist, right?

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@skytweetsstuff Someone should run a pride scheme for this one

[Montreal Expos @Montreal_Expos]

We have sent a notice to cease & desist to the Milwaukee Brewers.

Having rain fall inside a stadium with a closed retractable roof is the intellectual property of the Montreal Expos.

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

It is cool, but humid out, and every surface is wet. Outside is a public restroom.

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@amyy_claire

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@REALSierra_ Make Joey run it with you

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@etphonehomez91 @AndyHermanNFL He specifically stated that it was impact as a rookie, which Adams played in only 7 games with 2 tackles as a rookie, and House only played in 1 game as a rookie. So they carved out a career, but didn't impact in year 1

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

Bananas and the Sun: both have vitamins in them that you need. Therefore I posit that the Sun is a Banana, or a Banana is a Star

[Dan Szymanski @AboveAverageDan]

@MarquesEversoll Is it my favorite? No. Do I really care that much? Also no.