BRECKENRIDGE 2025

A New * For A New America

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Happy Birthday to actor Timothee Chalamet, who turns 29 today. He plans to spend the day avoiding cliche away at play out of the fray enjoying soufflé and crochet with pals Jose and Jay.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A series of bright fireballs over Tennessee and Alabama were identified as remains of a Chinese satellite. It took 40 minutes of rapid shotgun fire from Jethro, Cletus, and Peetus to eliminate the threat.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Today is the first night of Hanukkah. For the uninitiated, Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights, and NOT that fancy monofloral New Zealand honey.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Today is Christmas Eve. This represents the time two millennia ago that retailers offered AN EXTRA 20% OFF PREVIOUS MARKDOWNS before the birth of Christ.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A Google Doodle video spotlighted the most searched-for topics of 2024. Topics included Moo Deng, K-pop band Stray Kids, and the Rise Of Mighty Algorithmic Lords That Quietly Rule Us.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Today is "Sunday Funday” at Trader Joe’s, 2073 Broadway, UWS, NYC. Your cast is getting Xxxtra $ today to entertain you, so make sure you applaud after they ENTERTAININGLY crush your eggs in the bottom of your favorite tote.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Happy Birthday to actor Jane Fonda, who turns 87 today. She had an exercise tape in 1982 titled "Jane Fonda's Workout," and will soon release "Jane Fonda's 2025 Workout: Stay Put Don't Strain Anything."TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Today is "Freaky Friday" at Trader Joe's, 2073 Broadway, UWS, NYC! Come on thru and get freaky and free-eaky with your favorite cashier, who may or may not find you to be tolerable.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Santa Claus made an early visit to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma to preside over 14 weddings on pre-Christmas Wedding Wednesday. There should be a punchline here but nothing could top the above line.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Happy Birthday to musician Keith Richards, who turns 81 today. When he heard that Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time, he sent him a big fat joint.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time. Marijuana smokers pointed to his outfits 1977-1989 as collectively the greatest mistake of all time.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time. Pot smokers worldwide were offended by his position but managed to forget all about it seven point five seconds later.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time. However there is a rumour floating around that he was baked out of his mind when he said this.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time. There was a punchline here but America rolled it up and smoked it.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John said legalizing marijuana was one of the greatest mistakes of all time. An army of stoners nationwide thought about responding but decided instead to binge on the Cartoon Network and Cheetos.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: Sir Elton John was named Time Magazine's "Icon of the Year." Time Magazine was named "Desperate, Flailing Outdated Periodical of the Year."TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A New York man skateboarded 3,162 miles from coast to coast. He plans to do it again in ten years when it is only 2,000 miles from coast to coast.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A truck fire caused a California highway to be covered in over 30,000 lbs. of melted chocolate. The CHP's "S'mores Division" was summoned and swiftly applied marshmallows and graham crackers.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A 100-year-old man and a 102-year-old-woman in Philadelphia became the world's oldest newlyweds. They say the secret of a happy relationship is never having to see or hear your partner.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025

[BRECKENRIDGE 2025 @ABreckenridge4]

JOKEOFTHEDAY: A pair of ruby slippers from “The Wizard of Oz” will hit the auction block. The slippers would make a splendid holiday gift for anyone looking to spend $2 million on $3 worth of sequins.TRADERJOE'SONBROADWAY-WGA-SAG-2025