Academic Enforcer

Former Dr. Nice Prof, now expert in #FearBasedPedagogy. Students who cheat in my class never cheat again. Ever. I'm here because you need me.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

If the cheating student I'm reprimanding starts to cry, I stop... and sample her tears for my collection. #hobby

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

Pretty sure dude’s new-to-uni rather than simply shockingly irresponsible.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

We’re in the last 3 weeks of class, & a student just complained about missing a deadline bc he didn’t read the syllabus. Like he apparently couldn’t download it (first I’ve heard of this), so decided not to bother with it, &... he thinks that’s my fault?

[Lance Cooper @lmauricecpr]

If you're still social distancing, washing your hands, limiting contact with people, and wearing a mask, please retweet this tweet. I just want others to know it's not overreacting, it's caring about your health and protecting others.

[The PhD Story @thephdstory]

Zoom teaching, aka teaching into the abyss #AcademicTwitter

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@mcmillenoakleyt Oh my that’s an EXTREMELY boopable nose and HIGHLY smooshable face...

My dog might be the one thing that keeps some of them coming to class throughout the term. I guess there are worse things than having a class morph into online dog therapy.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

My doggo made a surprise appearance during class today and someone immediately offered to both kill & die for said doggo, which I think means they like her very much.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

If you’re contributing activities to an online course, asking yourself whether your activity is actually doable will help your colleagues save time they would otherwise spend fantasizing about strangling you.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@ProfMoneyBags This is very good to know. I have maybe 30 mins of continuous voice use these days before it scratches out.

[Philipp Stelzel @pjstelzel]

This fall semester promises to be very challenging, so here's a thread of 25 cocktail recipes for academics in times of Covid-19.
Cheers!

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

Is there a name for the law that states no matter how briefly you hide a grade column to fix something, a student will email to say they can’t see their grade?

It was under. 30. seconds.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

Does anyone else cringe after posting grades in anticipation of the wails of protest? I refuse to look at my email until tomorrow.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@DrWutt I’m having “maybe they won’t want me because...” conversations with myself, except all hopeful like. I was prepared for demoralization and despair during a job hunt but not this. Wtf.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

Anyone ever panic at the possibility of a FT job bc it means you have to give up the safety of multiple side hustles? Not having 3 jobs simultaneously just seems hella risky...

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@TChihMath Um... oh lol that’s satire, right? Right?!! 😬

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

I will not use my sewing ✂️ on paper I will not use my sewing ✂️ on paper I will not use my sewing ✂️ on paper weeeellll maybe this once won’t hurt until I find my other ✂️

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@CarlLPalmer @jjenna

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

Is it normal to mumble “f*ck you” under your breath when you get the “we’re all in this together” emails from the uni about to dump you?

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@indomitusconvoy It’s good you’ve got some lead time at least. I was told in advance out of courtesy by admins who don’t suck.

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@snarkyirie It’ll be audible in the teams meeting happening in the other room, but what better way to get the word out that I’m job hunting?

[Academic Enforcer @AcadEnforcer]

@CarlLPalmer I would read this book.