Acoustic Nukes

Outlandish one-liners & unhinged takes
No nuance. Maximum volume.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

NOTHING amplifies an acoustic nuke like a 90's McDonald’s booth seat!
Challengers in the comments.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@Oceanbreeze473 Lower quadrant of B2, snipers only, not advice

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

That's Kendrick Bourne coming out the tunnel for his Cardinals debut before he goes 2/19/0 tuds.

[Lucy @TheLucyShow1]

I’ll never look at another Vulture the same again 😂

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@GeneralPatton83 Public restrooms are acoustic tuning labs for men’s assholes.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

Some of the loudest nukes I’ve heard were outside the ladies’ room.
That’s what happens when you hold them in.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@DUDEwipes American food has half of America operating with prolapsed assholes.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@MaxMannis Commentary while coiling one a mile high is crazy!

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@_willcompton Gritting teeth on the throne. Classic pre-launch sequence.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@JoySam04 Did you consider gloves prior to handling this object you have no knowledge of?

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

Coffee-triggered unguided missile.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@equine__dentist Absolute legend!

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@ThrillaRilla369 You're not shittin! Family friend sprayed muddy rust water in their khakis on the Slinky Dog at Disney almost 10 years ago…
Still gets brought up 5-6 times a year 💀

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@MoMohler The acoustics definitely vary based on your exact position at detonation.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@QueenAnticommie Wow, a fart cannon, unbelievably brilliant!

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

Always wondered how shrapnel and skid marks ended up on the tank, seat, under the seat, front of the bowl etc.

[KJW @Hawkesbay69]

🫣🤣

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@NatureClips01 Nobody makes Preparation H for bears?

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@republicofpoo Pushing a loaf is one thing, catching a loaf is CRAZY!

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@BamaSaltyMarine Should call you Chief sitting Bull.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

Pushed a fart so hard I’m sitting on a bushel of grapes.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@Iisahard Good way to cool the hemorrhoids.

[Acoustic Nukes @AcousticNukes]

@alphafox Does Beano count?