Alan Smithee

All posts are satirical and/or in the nature of parody. Nothing posted should ever be believed by anyone, ever, at any time, for any reason.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

Let's have us a Rogues' Gallery. Both parties. Top of the list. Tom Steyer, who wants to be governor of California.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

2/2 How he loved talking to you all. What a meaningful difference you made in his life. Remember him well.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

Friends, I am Alan Smithee's sister. I am devastated to say he died unexpectedly Sunday night.1/2

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

@RealJeffKelley @randomvagrant So you admit he did run for profit.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

You don't know how it feels to be me https://t.co/HrXm0VnAj8

[eric blackmore @mistablackmore]

@ActualFlatticus It's more his ubiquity in American music than any specific work. You'll win a lot of fights, but not the ones that tell people how to feel.

[Thieving Magpies @cumbriamagpies]

@ActualFlatticus @YouTube Alan Greetings from the English Lake District - here is our version! https://t.co/bFdruTrzmk

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

It varies based on, and this is not a joke, his own belief as to what his brand is worth. He just says that. https://t.co/7kT8HsY3I8

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

This group is funded by Michael Bloomberg. 10 million worth. Bloomberg believes minorities need more gun control than whites. Google it. https://t.co/O7HtRyCpH6

[Jimmy Kimmel @jimmykimmel]

Dear crazies: it is fascinating that 500 innocent people get shot and your anger is directed at me. Think about that https://t.co/TTMxEcjdbZ

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

Like I said, American Girl was good. But the literal second coming wouldn't still be trending after this long, it's weird. https://t.co/dlH0v2LuLD

[eric blackmore @mistablackmore]

@ActualFlatticus I remain untrollable on this matter. You are demonstrably and utterly wrong in this matter, and I hope your buffoonery gives you the runs.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

There are teams of players, opposing each other. He's gonna roll in cash like a pig in shit. https://t.co/ovnb59dDcM

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

I swear it was a joke. https://t.co/ujY8FDsAMt

[Doreen32128 @reenie62]

@ActualFlatticus BC pills can be prescribed for other female issues.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

Except you're counting the same song over and over again. https://t.co/0TSefdzWSw

[eric blackmore @mistablackmore]

@ActualFlatticus Now see how many are left when you get to someone like Petty w/13 studio albums and 68 singles. Finish your cup of "perhaps I'm insane". /4

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

No, it was actually because they have a school, with employees who aren't nuns, i was kidding. https://t.co/qjwnEMXzRb

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

Then government should pay instead. https://t.co/b80z2OlqTS

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

They have a school with employees, I'm kidding, but let's see what happens. https://t.co/cd8pisLsw7

[Marj "Fortify" Oszman 🌎 @TurntableKittah]

@ActualFlatticus And why the need to sell nuns birth control?

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

I mostly associate Petty with that scene in Silence of the Lambs, but okay. https://t.co/fVUd1A0Iar

[eric blackmore @mistablackmore]

@ActualFlatticus Now those who've never sold a million albums. Or written a song considered to be the soundtrack to an important moment in someone's life./3

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

That's crazy, why would nuns need birth control. https://t.co/PIJni6wQUr

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

@Wikijuliete @mistablackmore No need to rebut it, Lowell admitted it. He called it a cracked mosaic.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

How the hell is he still trending? https://t.co/kzWVBCK3NC

[eric blackmore @mistablackmore]

@Wikijuliete @ActualFlatticus It's almost as though one's taste in art, however well informed, is still subjective. Except for Smithee and his nonsensical Petty take.

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

He got paid in respectability he didn't deserve. https://t.co/fB8TMCSpGL

[Alan Smithee @ActualFlatticus]

He claims his brand is worth about 7 billion dollars. Forbes cut that down to about 1/14th in size. He's more right than they are now. https://t.co/WnEnfVakIw